


Calls Me Home

by LiesAndSlander



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Michael Being A Dick, Papa Geoff Ramsey, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 02:35:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2411819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiesAndSlander/pseuds/LiesAndSlander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael is pretty sure that his soulmate is a complete and utter moron. If it's not a bruise that he's waking up with, it's a headache and the feeling of his face being smashed in. He really cannot understand how one person can get hurt so many times and in so many different ways.</p><p>But then he meets Gavin Free.</p><p>At first, he tries to keep to himself about it. After all, he doesn't see a point in telling him -- while he thinks the soulmate thing is interesting, he makes his own destiny. He isn't going to base his love life off a few cuts and bruises.</p><p>But that all changed very, very quickly when the slash marks started appearing on his arm.<br/>-----------------</p><p>Based on this prompt from OTP Prompts on Tumblr:</p><p>Imagine your OTP in a world where if your soulmate is harmed in any way, you get harmed in the same way. Person A cuts themselves, believing they'll never find their soulmate. (It’s Person B) Person B finds marks all over their arms and panics in the realization that their soulmate is cutting themselves. What happens beyond there is up to you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dude, doorknobs really fucking hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this prompt and it was sitting in my brain for the longest time and I just HAD to write about it. I tweaked the "getting hurt part" a bit so that it's more like a shadow of it -- meaning you break your arm, your soul mate maybe sprains it. You get a papercut, your soulmate feels the sting. I'll update when I can - I work at a daycare from 9 to 5, so I'm typically toast by the end of the day XD
> 
> Also, the title of this story is referenced to "Calls Me Home" by Shannon LaBrie. It fits loosely with this story.

“Dude, really? Another bruise?”  
  
“Fuck off, Ray,” Michael growled, rubbing his cheek as he walked into the Puerto Rican's dorm room. He had some time before class and figured he'd stop by his best friend's place, the freshman being the lucky fuck to have Tuesdays off from class. "It's not me, _again_ , it's whoever the fuck keeps walking into door knobs. With their _face_.”

To most people, this conversation would seem completely normal, even if it doesn't. After all, it was perfectly logical for someone to wake up with a new bruise or cut they didn't have the night before. It was something they could thank their soulmate for, though it was normally not to the same extent of pain that it was for said person. But if your soulmate bruises their face, you get a bruise in the same place. If your soulmate gets a cut on their leg, you get a cut in the exact same area.

“Yeah, well, whoever your soulmate is seems to have problems with walking. Living. _Breathing_ ,” Ray muttered, ducking the game case that got whipped at his head without breaking contact with the television. He had mastered the art of avoidance when it came to objects being violently thrown at his face.

Michael's frown deepened, taking a seat on the Puerto Rican's bed. “At least mine wasn't stupid enough to get hit in the face by a stick.”

And if your soulmate get's hit in the face with the pole of hoe, guess what happens to you.

"We still don't have proof that she was hit in the face with a stick. It could have been something totally different -”

The auburn-haired lad snorted, interrupting the younger boy. “Yeah, sure. Say what you want, but you know how that feels because you've done it before. Call it payback, fucker.”

Now it was Ray's turn to snort, shaking his head as he grabbed his Red Bull while the multiplayer loaded. “Whatever. Anyways, when did this one happen?”

“This morning,” Michael responded, reaching for the other Xbox controller. “I don't know if the moron just is a huge fucking klutz or really stupid. Either way, hurt like a bitch to wake up to your face being smashed. Felt like it was by a door knob. At least that's my first guess."

“Or a fist. Maybe the dude got in a fight?”

“Who the fuck said it was even a guy, Ray? Jesus fucking Christ, stop trying to make me gay.” It wasn't like it was a big secret that he swung both ways. He just didn't publicly announce it to the world by running around with a rainbow above his head. Sure, he dated girls before - one of his other best friends, Lindsay, was proof of that - but he didn't really have a preference for either.

“I call it like I see it, man. Not my fault you like dicks,” Ray chuckled, ducking again as this time the controller was thrown at his head. “Hey, watch the merch! You break it, you buy it.”

“You still owe me a new hoodie after you lit mine on fire.”

“It was for science!” Ray retorted.

“You were high off your ass!”

“Close enough.”

Shaking his head, he reached over to grab the controller as Ray handed it back. “So, where's Ryan? Normally he's in here trying to experiment on your or something.”

“Ran to the PetSmart. Apparently Edgar-”

“Edgar? Like his stuffed cow?” Michael interrupted. Ryan had this stuffed cow, one that looked just like the ones from Minecraft, that had the same name.

Ray shook his head. “His turtle.”  
  
“He named his turtle Edgar?” Michael remarked, chuckling a bit just before he shot down another player. "YES! Take that motherfucker!"

“Yeah, apparently. While laughing creepily over it.”

“Why the fuck does he name everything Edgar?”

The younger turned to look at him briefly with a pointed look before focusing again on the game. “Because he's bat shit crazy?”

“Uh...” Michael trailed off, eyebrow raised. “Okay then... So, wait, what the fuck was he going there for?”

Ray shook his head, sniping at someone who was trying to camp and winning the match. “I'm really not sure. Something about Edgar needing a new friend? I didn't really ask.”

“Huh,” he responded, shaking his head as he pushed himself to his feet and stretched, adjusting his beanie in the process while dropping the controller on the bed. Taking a look at his phone, he groaned a bit as he noticed the time. “I gotta go, dude. If I skip lecture again, the professor is going to fucking shish kabob me.”

“Have fun, bro.”

Michael shook his head, hand thrown up in the air as he left the room. “As fun as a fucking barrel of monkeys.”

* * *

“Ah, Mr. Jones. Thank you for gracing us with your presence this week. I assume you're over your... 'flu'."

Michael felt the tips of his ears heat up as he nodded. "Yes, sir. Sorry, Professor Burns."

His professor just shook his head, pointing to the front row. "Just sit down, Jones."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." As much as Michael didn't want to admit it, you didn't fuck with Professor Burns.

Taking his normal seat in the front row - which was right in front because of this unfortunate incident with him being late on the first day of class - he pulled out his laptop, booting it up in preparation for the lecture. The first two weeks he had taken handwritten notes, but quickly got sick of it and started bringing his computer. For being a sophomore, he really didn't think everything through...

"Aw, Christ!"

Looking up, the lad caught sight of someone running into the door to the lecture hall.

Right before a shooting pain went through his head.

Hissing lightly, he rubbed at his face - Jesus, his nose was fucking on fire - as he glared at the projector screen. What the fuck was his soulmate doing now? Leaping into walls -

 _Wait_.

Blinking a few times, almost as if he were trying to clear his head, Michael turned his head slowly back towards the door, ignoring the snickering of other students in the background. He heard Professor Burns sigh to himself and only assumed he was rolling his eyes. But his focus at the moment wasn't on the professor or the other students or even the fucking lecture. No, his attention was instead entirely on the guy that just ran face first into a metal door. He pushed his glasses up his nose as he blatantly stared at the idiot.

Tall and gangly, the sandy-haired boy who ran in looked overly disheveled, panting a bit. Holy shit, he had a _really_ big nose."'M sorry, Professor! There were some problems with the audio for the class I was setting up for, which was complete  _bollocks_ , and-"

"Just sit down, Gavin."

"But-"

"Gavin! You aren't even late yet. Sit. the fuck. down!" He heard the idiot - the British idiot? He sounded British - make a sort of squealing noise before scurrying over to his desk in the back row. "By the way, what happened to your face? Besides your nose, that was there before."

Michael's eyes widened as his head whipped back, dark eyes taking in the bruise on the other boy's face

 _No_.

"Well, uh... I sort of had an unfortunate meeting with the door knob after my kip this morning and -"

Professor Burns put a hand in the air, shaking his head. "You know what, I don't want to know. Just take out your shit and get ready for notes."

_No way._

Pulling his phone from his hoodie (while trying to hide discreetly behind his laptop screen), he sent a quick message to Ray.

> **Michael - September 23, 2014 @ 2:35pm:** _Dude, you aren't going to believe it. I think I found my fucking soulmate. And he just smashed his face into a door._

_There was just no fucking way._


	2. No, seriously, what the fuck is going on?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael constantly wonders what the fuck is going on as babies scream, butt-buddies are discussed, and cuts aren't always skin deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE YOU ALL. No, really. All of you. This story is turning out to be bigger than I ever thought possible! I'm so happy you all enjoy it. Please mind any mistakes here - I was so excited to write more that I wrote it out and only briefly edited it. YOU GUYS ARE MY HEROS.

Michael had always thought the concept of a soulmate was a crock of shit. Sure, it was interesting, but who the fuck did _destiny_ think it was to deem who he should end up with? Who even came up with this shit, anyways? Oh, sure, his parents got together because of it – after all, when you crash your cars together and somehow end up with the exact same injuries, it kinda shows something – but that didn't mean that he had to follow it, right? It wasn't like everyone who ever got married or dated ended up with their 'soulmate'.

Well, some people didn't agree.

> **Ray – September 23, 2014 @ 2:37pm:** _DUDE! You are SO gonna get boned. It's about damn time. Did you get his # yet? What's his name? Give me the details._

The lad grimaced, rolling his eyes in irritation. It didn't matter that that British moron might be his soulmate; there was no way in _hell_ he was going to end up screwing him. Taking a look back – as discretely as he could possibly manage in a room full of people – he took in a good eyeful of the other boy. The dude wasn't even that attractive! His mop of hair was stuck up at all odd angles. He seemed to have ants in his pants because he couldn't stop twitching. Fuck, his nose took up about eighty-five percent of his face! That did not scream hot to him.

Though his eyes did look to be a really pretty blue-green -

 ** _Nope_**.

Stop that thought.

Fucking stupid brain.

Looking back down at his phone, he sent out a quick reply.

> **Michael – September 23, 2014 @ 2:41pm:** _Fucking asshole. Stop trying to make me gay! And no, I didn't get his fucking number. Jesus Christ, you sound like a fucking girl._
> 
> **Ray – September 23, 2014 @ 2:42pm:** _The bruises don't lie, man. Jack owes me 50!_
> 
> **Michael – September 23, 2014 @ 2:44pm:** _What the fuck, Ray? You were betting on my fucking soulmate? With JACK?_
> 
> **Ray – September 23, 2014 @ 2:47pm:** _Hey, you can't blame a guy for trying. I just call it like I see it._
> 
> **Michael - September 23, 2014 @ 2:50pm:** _I hate you so fucking much. I'm going to shove a stick so far up your ass it's going to spew from your motherfucking mouth._
> 
> **Ray – September 23, 2014 @ 2:52pm:** _I'm not the one that likes it up the ass._

Michael growled to himself, slamming his phone on his desk. Why was he friends with such an asshole?

“Problem, Jones?” Professor Burns asked, turning his head away from the projector screen to give a deadpanned stare at his very inattentive student. It hadn't occurred to Michael that bashing is iPhone on the wooden table would then get the attention of the teacher. Well, at least not until _after_ the fact.

 _Fuck_.

“No, Professor. Nothing is wrong. No problems at all, sir,” Michael replied hastily, attempting to shove his phone into the pocket of his hoodie before it was noticed.

“Well,” the older man started, moving towards the beanie-clad boy. “If there are no issues, then you should have no problem handing over your phone and allowing me to share with the class all the joys of your life that you deem to be more important than this class.” Coming to a stop directly in front of the lad, he held out his hand expectantly.

Michael resisted the urge to groan loudly. This was not happening. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he hesitated briefly - staring at the screen in distaste and wondering if he could stealthily erase the messages - until the professor said “Today, Mr. Jones". He handed over the phone while mumbling quietly under his breath every curse word he had ever deemed interesting. Hearing the other students giggle in the background, he slouched down in his seat, covering his face with the cloth of this beanie in humiliation. God, this was going to go so well. Fucking fabulous. He was contemplating the odds of being able to drop the class when he heard a strange noise coming from the back of the room.

Was that a... crying baby?

“Really, Mr. Free?”

Hearing the sound of something landing on his desk, Michael chanced a look from beneath his hat to see that his phone was back on the smooth surface before scrambling to shove it back in his pocket. There was no way he was risking that again. Blinking in surprise, he turned to look behind him as his professor made his way up the stairs of the lecture hall to the back of the room.

Right to that British idiot.

"Uh, well... I'm sorry, sir?"

Burns sighed in frustration, holding out his hand in expectation for the second time that class period. Gavin handed over his phone with no complaints, allowing the older to pocket it. Glaring pointedly at the international student, he muttered "You can have this back after class. Now get back to your notes," before making his way back down the the front of the room, shaking his head the entire way. It didn't take long for the class to settle back down and for the lecture to start again.

However, Michael couldn't help but continue to stare at the other who had perhaps just saved him from a whole lot of paperwork - transferring classes was a pain in the ass, if you weren't aware - with a look between shock and bemusement. It seemed his gaze was felt, because Gavin turned his head slightly to look at the older boy. Feeling his face turn the same color as his hair, he was about to turn around when he noticed the look the younger lad was giving him. It was almost... sad. Not like a weighty, depressing sadness but a lingering one. But as quickly as it came it was gone and he was giving Michael a large grin, winking slightly before turning back to listen to a lecture that no one was really paying attention to.

He felt the tips of his ears burn as his cheeks flushed even deeper.

Did that... Did he...

_Did he just intentionally save his ass?_

There was no way in hell that his phone going off was coincidence. It was just... too well played.

What the _**fuck**_ was going on?

"Michael?"

 _ **Shit**_.

"Uh, yes sir?"

"Please stop staring at Gavin and pay attention."

_Swiss-fucking-cheese._

* * *

As much as Michael wanted to attempt to confront Gavin about what happened in class, he was unable to as the boy screwed out of class faster than lightning. Grumbling a bit, he figured the confrontation would have to wait until a later date. It wasn't like he was in a huge rush, but he was rather curious. Rubbing his cheek in irritation, he started to pack up his bag to head back to his room for a few hours before dinner.

"Michael."

Hearing his name, the auburn-haired lad gulped slightly before looking up from his backpack. Damnit, he knew there was no way he would have gotten off that easy.

"Uh, yes sir?"

"Can you bring this back to Free when you see him next?" Professor Burns handed over the British boy's phone. "He ran out of here so quickly I wasn't able to give it back to him."

"Well, uh..." Michael took the phone, looking down at it for a moment before looking back up to his professor. "I would say yes, but I'm not sure where he lives... I don't really know him."

That caused an eyebrow to be raised. "Really? I assumed you two were friends what with the shit you pulled in my class today."

"Yeah, about that..."

"No," Burns held up a hand, shaking his head. "I really don't want to know. I got enough from the last text message I read - more than I _ever_ wanted to know. Got that?"

Michael nodded profusely, shoving the other iPhone in his bag before zipping it up. "Yup, got it. Clear, crystal, whatever. And I'll find a way to get the phone back to him." At this point, he just wanted to get out of there ASAP. He had enough awkwardness for the day. Pulling his pack onto his shoulders, he nodded at the older man before heading towards the door.

"Oh, and Jones?"

He gulped, slowly turning back once more to face his professor. "Uh, yeah?"

"Pull that bullshit again and I'm stringing you from the flagpole by your toes for the entire school to see. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Michael moaned slightly, throwing himself onto his bed with a grunt. What a long day. This was one of those few moments he was glad he lived by himself - his roommate never showing up. It was almost seven o'clock and he already wanted to go to sleep (that's what he got for staying up all night playing Destiny). The attempt to hunt down the British idiot had been futile and only left him more annoyed when dinner rolled around - which also led to him pulling Ray into a sleeper hold that failed when Geoff and Ryan pulled them apart. Seriously, they didn't _actually_ think he was going to kill the freshman, did they? Maybe hurt him a bit, but never murder him.

At least not _today_.

Once it was all said and done, Michael simply gave Ray a look - something understood between the two after being friends for over a decade - and nothing of this 'soulmate business' was said. He knew the younger lad meant well. He just sometimes wanted to strangle him a little.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, he groan-sighed, pulling it from the depths and unlocking it.

> **Ray - September 23, 2014 @ 6:58pm:** _So, you never told me the name of the dude. Ya know, before you put me in a headlock?_

Michael chuckled, shaking his head as he went to type out a reply. Speak of the devil and he shall come.

> **Michael - September 23, 2014 @ 7:00pm:** _Not that it matters, asshole, but his name is Gavin. And I'm still not sure if he's even it. Might just be a fucking coincidence._
> 
> **Ray - September 23, 2014 @ 7:02pm:** _Huh. I only know one Gavin. Made friends with him at Orientation. A/V kid from England._
> 
> **Michael - September 23, 2014 @ 7:03pm:** _Yeah, that sounds about right. Really big fucking nose, too._

" _Shit_!" He nearly jumped in surprise when his phone started vibrating violently. Seeing that it was Ray calling him, he answered with a "What the fuck do you want, asshole?"

" _No, seriously Michael. Gavin. **Gavin**? As in Gavin David Free?_ " He could almost _feel_ the glee radiating off of Ray.

"...How the fuck do you even know his middle name? Are you sure you aren't in love with him?"

" _Shut up. But really, Gavin is your soulmate? The one who makes your heart flutter? Your stomach queasy? **Your cock twitch**_ -"

He growled, cutting the Puerto Rican off. "Really, Ray, I'm going to come over to your room and punch you in your fucking face."

" _Again, call it like I see it._ " Oh, and there was that smug tone.

"Fuck you. And I don't even know if he is my... whatever. I just know that the idiot smashed his face into the door - which how the fuck do you not notice a door is beyond me - and next thing I know, I'm getting a pounding headache. Felt like my nose had been smashed in."

He heard Ray whistle slightly. " _Sounds pretty suspicious to me, dude. You may have found the one._ "

Michael snorted. "Yeah, but doesn't mean I'm actually going to fucking get with the dude. Just because he fucking bruises his face and mine, too, doesn't mean we are going to be life long butt-buddies."

" _But it's meant to be!_ " He sang dramatically. " _Butt-buddies 5evah!_ "

The older boy snickered, shaking his head. "Shut the fuck up, Ra - what the fuck??" He sat up, pulling the sleeve of his left arm up.

" _What?_ "

"My arm is fucking burning."

" _I'd ask if something was on fire, but I'm not there._ "

"Dude, shut the fuck up for a second."

He watched for a second as miniscule lines - a little deeper than papercuts - started forming high up on his forearm. They weren't anything drastic, just a three small lines that barely broke the skin.

" _Yo, Michael. You alright?_ "

"Yeah, yeah. I guess the idiot that is attached to me must've cut themselves somehow. Just fucking stings something awfu - fucking christ!"

" _What?!_ "

"Just... let me call you back, dude." Michael hung up the phone without even saying goodbye, eyes glued to his arm as he watched more cuts start to appear. He winced as he felt them getting deeper (just _what the fuck_ was going on?), multiplying in number. His eyes widened briefly before he grimaced again, watching as blood now flowed freely from the cuts closest to his wrist. He couldn't help but stare in shock, completely unaware of what to do with the situation. This was a first. Sure, he'd been bruised, sprained, and superficially cut before, but never something _this_ intense.

Michael took a few deep breaths, trying to stop the panic from flowing from deep in his stomach.

**_What was going on?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr if you want to be entertained and occasionally updated!
> 
> http://werekindofapackagedeal.tumblr.com/


	3. So, I shouldn't send that card, should I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael is gushing blood, Ray does some reading, and everyone seems to think that Mr. Rage-Quite-Jones is being an asshole. Who seems to like ocean-deep eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are amazing. So fabulous. This chapter was originally only going to be half as long as it is, but... well, as you can see, it ended up longer. I got into it - it's because of all the support! Between here and tumblr, you guys are making my week amazing. More to come, soon! Enjoy :D

 “Michael, what the _fuck_ happened?” Ray exclaimed, jaw dropping as his friend walked in his room. "You just suddenly hung up."

“What does it look like happened?” Michael deadpanned, trying to keep the paper towels on his sluggishly bleeding wrist as he stood in Ray's doorway. “And before you say anything about a murder scene or me being a giant fucking emo, _it was **not** me_.”

“So it was your...”

“Soul-idiot, yeah.”

As soon as Michael realized what was happening, he quietly snuck into the bathroom – meanwhile thanking the baby Jesus himself that he shared a suite with only a few other guys who probably wouldn't notice – and grabbed as many paper towels as he could fit underneath his hoodie sleeve. He initially panicked, his brain not really grasping what was going on and instead thinking ' _Ohmaifuckinggawd, I'm gonna bleed to death!_ ' before he calmed down enough to realize that he wasn't going to die. He'd be sore. Probably a little itchy and irritated later. But no death.

But what about the dude (or chick, because he still wasn't completely convinced it was Gavin) who clearly deemed it would be fabulous to mutilate their skin?

“Not to sound overly gay or anything, but are you okay? You look kinda pale,” Ray said quietly, trying to not actually let the concern that he felt shine through.

“Do I _look_ okay? I'm _fucking bleeding_ from wrists like a god-damned suicidal jackass. I need bandages or something,” Michael grumbled.

“Uh, well...” Ray trailed off, looking around his room as if they were just going to magically appear before shrugging awkwardly. “I don't really have anything...”

“Well, fuck.”

It was at that exact moment that Ryan decided to pop into the room, the junior raising an eyebrow at the current scene. “Uh, Michael? If you've recently decided to off yourself, can you not do it all over my floor?”

“Ugh,” he groaned, lifting the towels a bit to get a glimpse at the wounds. Still bleeding, though it did look like they were starting to clot over. “For the second time, it wasn't fucking me. It was my soul-dumbfuck!”

Ray piped in, “You must really enjoy coming up with difference combos for soulmate, don't you?”

“Shut the fuck up, Ray.”

“Just sayin'.”

Ryan, shaking his head at the whole tirade, walked past Michael and started rummaging through one of his desk drawers before pulling out a roll of gauze. “Get over here, idiot.”

The auburn-haired lad looked at him skeptically. “Dude. Don't think I forgot the last time you tried to _'help me'_.”

“Just get over here. I'm just going to wrap up your arm so you don't bleed to death all over the damn carpet,” Ryan replied, beckoning him over to his desk chair with a wave.

Michael sighed, grimacing as he made his way towards the indicated seat. “Just don't pull any funny shit. No weird concoctions or shit like that. Just wrap it and done.”

"'Wrap it and done'," Ray giggled from the corner.

Ryan snorted, getting together some soft pads with anti-bacterial goo to place against the cuts before wrapping them with gauze. “I'm not that fucking crazy.”

“Suuuuure, Mad King Ryan,” Ray joined into the conversation, referencing an inside joke between their crew. “Wait a minute... Why do you even have bandages?”

Ryan paused for a moment before continuing. “Football.”

“You don't play football.”

“...Soccer.”

_“You don't play soccer!”_

Michael growled, interrupting the two. “Can we just get back to the fact that I am currently gushing _blood_ from my limbs?”

“To put that correctly, Michael,” Ryan chimed in. “You aren't gushing blood and it's not from all of your limbs.”

“...I hate you, Ryan.”

“Love you, too.”

“Anyways,” Ray jumped in, pushing his glasses up his face as he leaped off the floor and to his computer. “I wonder what happens if your soulmate dies.”

Michael leveled a glare at the back of the younger lad's head. “Oh, great. Nice subject to bring up when mine is possibly trying to fucking do it, dickhead.”

“Calm down, Rage Quit Jones, I'm sure it's fine.”

“Psh,” Michael scoffed. “You aren't the one with a soul-moron who clearly doesn't want to be here.”

“That's kinda harsh, man.”

“Yeah, well, now he's fucking with my life, too. So I _really_ don't fucking give a damn.”

Ray shook his head, ignoring the previous comment while pulling up Google in an attempt to do a search on dying soulmates. The first page brought up widely varied results, ranging from **_'Instantly find your soulmate!_** ' to ** _'Can't stand your soulmate? Here's the cure!'_** Squinting slightly as he read the results, he found a link that looked plausible, tentatively clicking it. The Puerto Rican was instantly brought to a website full of 'real' diagnostics and testimonials.

“Hey, guys, once you're done playing doctor, come look at this,” Ray called over to the other two, scrolling through the discussions. Michael and Ryan looked to one another before getting up to join their friend in the readings. The gamers all crowded around the younger's desktop, wondering what he was looking at.

"Are these...?" Ryan started.

"All about soulmate's dying? Yeah."

Michael pushed himself over Ray's shoulder, reading the current paragraph that he was focused on out loud. " _'When one soulmate dies, it does not mean death for the other'_ \- well that's a plus - _'as many would come to believe. What one would come to expect from the death of their soulmate is complete and utter agony. But that has in fact been proven incorrect. Most of those who have lost their loved one instead have reported to instead feel empty; as if they are missing a piece of themselves.'_ "

" _'I remember when my Richard died,'_ " Ray continued on, eyes skimming over a testimonial quote beneath the statement. " _'I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I could only stop. I felt completely hollow inside, like a piece of my soul was actually missing.'_ "

"Well that's fucking depressing," Ryan quietly mumbled.

"This is bullshit," Michael sneered, moving away from the computer screen and towards the door. "These are coming from people who were married - _dating_ \- what-the-fuck-ever. This kid and I don't even know each other. If he fucking decides to kill himself, it won't affect me any. This soulmate crap will be exactly what I said it was before - _bullshit_."

"Michael!" Ray snapped, turning back to glare at his friend. "Enough being a fucking dickwad - he may or may not be your thing, but he's _still_ my friend. _I_ still care what happens to him."

"Yeah, well, that makes one of us." And with that said, Michael stormed off.

* * *

Michael sighed as he unlocked his door, shoving his way in and slamming his door shut. He knew he was being an asshole. He didn't really mean it - even if he didn't know the kid, he definitely didn't want him to just off himself - but he was just so tired and angry with the whole situation. He couldn't help it that he got hostile when he was pissed. It was just how he rolled.

Reaching into his backpack, Michael brought out his laptop to prepare for a long night of internet browsing and procrastination on homework. It was while he was dragging out the charging cord that his hand hit something cold. Blinking a few times, he rummaged around before pulling out...

" _Fuuuuck_ ," Michael frowned at his find, his fingers wrapping around Gavin's phone. He groaned rather vocally as he realized that he would now have to find the idiot tomorrow to give him back his damn iPhone.

And maybe he could get some answers.

Powering up his laptop, he was immediately met with a message from two hours previous on Skype.

> **ItsaTuggLife** : Michael! How's school going?

Lindsay and him had been friends since they were kids - practically as toddlers. Their mother's had become friends when they were young (he was four and she was two) and it was history from there. Their parents dreamed that they would one day become married and they had even dated for a little while, but they decided their relationship was more like a sibling one than that of lovers.It was something that turned into a joke later down the road - and it still sort of creeped Michael out to this day.

It took him a mere second to decide whether to reply or not.

> **Mogar.is.ready** : Fucking peachy.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Wow, can you sound anymore enthusiastic? Late reply much. Happy to talk to you, too.
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : I'm sorry, Linds. Just... some weird shit has been going down.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Liiiiiike? Spill it, Jones!
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : Like I might have found my soulmate.
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : And Ray and I fought.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : For fucking real?! Wow, thanks for calling me and telling me, douchebag. But either way, that's great!
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : But why is it so weird?
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : And you fought over your soulmate?
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : My... thing has some problems. Besides the fact that his nose is bigger than his whole fucking face.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Care to elaborate? And ohhhh, a he! Go you :)
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : Not the fucking point. You and Ray need to stop trying to make me gay.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Can't change what you are, sweetie. But what's the problem?
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : He kinda... cuts himself.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : ...Like.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Self-harm?
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Intentionally?
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Omg, are you alright???
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : I'm fine, calm down.
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : But yeah, intentionally. Idk, I haven't gotten any details yet.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Yet? Meaning you are planning on getting some?
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : No, I'm just a cruel and heartless asshole that is going to let the kid who is clearly linked to me off themselves.
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : Even I'M not that much of a douchebag.
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : I just wanna know if it's legit or something. It's all fucking stupid.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Yeah, I get what you mean.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : But you gotta be real delicate with it, dude.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : You don't wanna just be like “So, are you cutting yourself because of reasons or because you're reliving your teenage years”.
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : Really?
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : I had no fucking clue.
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : So I probably shouldn't have sent him that card asking him if he did it because his mommy didn't love him enough, huh?
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : You're such a dick.
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : Yeah, I know.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Alright, jerkface, I gotta go.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Just wanted to check on you.
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : Yes, mommy.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Alright, done with you.
> 
> **ItsaTuggLife** : Goodnight, asshole <3
> 
> **Mogar.is.ready** : Night, Linds.

* * *

Knocking on the door in front of him, Michael waited patiently - as patiently as someone nicknamed 'Rage Quit' could - while clutching the electronic device in his hand. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Could not believe he was standing here waiting for this fucking door to open. He should have just handed it off to Ray to deal with. Fuck, he should have just sold it on eBay and made a bit of cash!

Well, it was too late for that now. The door was opening.

"Uh...'Ello," a very British voice greeted sleepily, such _greenbluegreenblue_ eyes taking him in.

" ** _Dicks_**."

He was so screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MWAHAHAHA. Evil ending :D I bet you're wondering what's gonna happen next? You'll seeeeee! <3


	4. Can you even speak English?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael attempts to confront Gavin while his body does stupid things before his brain can really comprehend them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeeelll, this was a bit more delayed than planned, but here you go, my loves! Hope it doesn't seem too rushed. Enjoy.

Michael hadn't really planned it through. After some searching – meaning asking any of the freshmen he knew and finally getting it out of Kerry – he was able to find out what dorm building Gavin lived in. Immersion Hall, fourth floor, room 413. Which was conveniently only two floors above his own.

Which fucking _figured_.

So here he was, standing outside the moron's door late at night, waiting for him to answer to door so he could pass off the phone, leave in peace, and be done with it.

“Uh... 'ello.”

“ _ **Dicks**_.”

The British boy blinked, head tilting adorably – no brain, _shutthefuckup_ – to the side as he stared at the older lad. “Well, that's certainly one way to greet someone. Don't I have a class with y-”

“Why did you do that?” Michael interrupted, crossing his arms as he glared at Gavin and getting straight to the point. He was not going to let this kid play dumb with him. Not right now.

Gavin blinked those green-blue eyes, seeming very confused. “What?”

The red-head growled, enunciating each word slowly as deep-brown eyes narrowed behind metal-frames. “Why. Did. You. Do. **_That_**?”

“I have no idea what you are even talking about, mate. Care to explai-”

“I'm not your damn _mate_ ,” Michael hissed venomously. “The shit you pulled in lecture the other day. Why?”

“Oh, that? That wasn't intentional. I just forgot to shut off the ringer.”

“I call bullshit.”

“What?”

“ _Wot_? Speak fucking English. I said that I call bullshit.”

“B-but...”

“Don't 'but' me. I want to know why the fuck you did that.” This was going nowhere and it was doing so very quickly.

“I didn't do anything. I don't even know your name!” Gavin exclaimed, seeming confused by the entire thing.

“It's Michael-”

“Micool?”

“ _Michael_.” The brown-eyed boy enunciated, his eyes continuing to narrow.

“That's what I said. _Micool_.”

“Jesus fucking christ, you can't even say my damn name right.”

“Uh... was there a point to you coming to my dorm at _10 o'clock at night_? On a Thursday?”

“Well, yeah,” Michael grumbled in exasperation before uncrossing his arms and showing the iPhone he was currently clutching. He held it out to the Brit, wincing a bit as the boy squealed in joy. “You didn't come to lecture today, so how else was I going to give this back to you?”

“ ** _Micool_**!” Gavin practically screeched in joy, leaping onto the startled lad with gangly limbs flying everywhere as he happily embraced him. “I was right minged off when I couldn't find it, but you found it!”

Michael's mind was frozen momentarily as he took in the fact that he had a british moron – his soul-tard, in retrospect – currently wrapped around his person. His mind just went completely blank. It wasn't because he just got tackled by someone who was practically a stranger. It wasn't even the fact that he was currently crushing the fuck out of his lungs. It was because it felt... nice. Some semblance of it felt like... home.

And he wasn't okay with that.

With a bit of a growl, he shoved the younger off. “Get the fuck off me. What are you, a leech?”

Gavin just continued to grin, seeming not even the least bit phased by it. Michael raised an eyebrow, not sure if the kid was just simple or a complete moron. Until he took a look down at Gavin's arms and saw bandages covering his left arm. In the exact place his own healing ones were.

“So, uh... What happened there?” Michael asked awkwardly, nodding to the wrapping as if he really didn't know while subconsciously hiding his own arm behind his back, not even taking into account that he was wearing a hoodie. He didn't want to be obvious about it – even if his brain was screaming at him to tell Gavin to fucking stop – but he couldn't let things be as they were. As much as he didn't want the guy to be his soulmate, he didn't want him to just... die.

Gavin froze, the grin straining on his face. The red-head could almost hear the gears turning as the sandy-haired lad tried to think of a reasonable excuse. He seemed stuck. His shoulders were tense and the open body language he had previously was completely gone. Blinking a few times, he stared the kid down, frowning as he realized he wasn't going to get a response unless he intervened. Moving a bit closer, he waved his hands in front of the Brit's face, trying to get his attention.

“Hello? Dude, did you hear me?”

“Oh!” He came back to the present, pasting that ever-present grin – it was screaming at him, _fakefakefake_ – back onto his face as he shrugged. “That silly little thing? I burned my arm over the weekend. Went home to see the rents, made a cuppa, ended up dropping the entire kettle on my arm. Bloody hurt. But it's no worries, I've had worse.”

“Sure...”

“But, anyways, thanks so much for bringing my phone back. Really appreciate it.” Gavin beamed, nodding to Michael as he started to back into his room – almost as if he were running from him. And Michael wasn't ready to deal with that just yet. Before his mind quite caught up to his mouth, he was calling out to him.

“Gavin, wait.”

Said boy tilted his head to the side in question. He didn't even seem to react to the fact that Michael knew his name without him giving it. “Yes, my boy?”

Grimacing at the term, he reached out for Gavin's phone – ignoring the squeak of protest from the younger one – and quickly, and quietly, listed himself as a contact. He wasn't even sure why he was doing it. It just... sort of happened. Looking up to see Gavin staring at him in confusion, he handed the device back to him. “Here. I put my number in. Even if it wasn't intentional, you still saved my ass in class the other day. And... if you're bored or something, text me. We can do lunch or dinner or whatever at the cafe. We have a mutual friend, after all.”

"We do?" The slightly taller boy asked with a small head tilt.

“Yeah, the Puerto Rican asshole formally known as Ray,” Michael grumbled. “Anyway, I'm heading back to my room. I'll see you later?”

“Yeah...” Gavin trailed off, going from happy to almost lost in two seconds. Weird.

“Alright...” Michael replied, nodding before turning around and heading towards the stairs so he could head back to his floor. He tried to make it seem as if he wasn't walking away quickly, but he was pretty sure he failed in that regard. And horribly at that. It wasn't until he was halfway down the second stairwell that he truly realized what he did.

He just gave his number to an idiot.

An idiot that was his fucking soulmate who _didn't know_ that he was his _**soulmate**_.

“Fucking hell, Jones,” he mumbled to himself, groaning as he rubbed his eyes behind his glasses. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Taking out his own phone as he made his way, now slowly, back to his own solitary room, he sent out a text to Ray.

> **Michael – September 25, 2014 @ 10:37pm** : _You'll be happy to know that I am officially a fucking idiot and my soul-moron now has my number. So you can fucking stop being pissed at me for being a douchenozzle._

Not waiting for a reply, he shoved his phone in his jeans before unlocking his dorm and kicking the door shut behind him, falling rather dramatically onto his bed. He really, really couldn't believe he just confronted the moron, got no answers to his questions – both those he asked and the ones he mentally questioned – and ended up giving him his fucking number. It probably had to do with the fact he was still feeling like a dickweed for saying he didn't care if the dude died to Ray (he was silently waiting for karma to drop an anvil on his face or something). Or maybe it was partially because he helped to keep him from switching classes (remember all that paperwork?). But it definitely was not because he was his soulmate. Nope. No way in the seven levels of hell.

Fuck. What was he thinking?

Groaning at his own level of stupidity, he rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling. He had never really beleived in these soulmate injury things. It was just a stupid con. Something that forced two people together simply because they shared injuries. His entire nineteen years of life had led him to think that the entire thing was nothing but a joke. And now?

**_Now_** he wasn't so sure.

“I'm so fucking  _screwed_.”

Jumping slightly as his phone went off, he cursed under his breath as he pulled it back out of his pocket, putting in his password to unlock the screen. His brows furrowed together as he saw he had two new messages. Sighing, he opened up the most recent one.

And promptly laughed to himself.

> **Ray – September 25, 2014 @ 10:52pm** : _I knew you guys would be butt-buddies. Brunch at 11?_

Glad that all seemed to be forgiven – and thankful that his friend was easy going like that – he sent off a quick reply in confirmation, calling him an asshole and saying goodnight with a chuckle. Flipping back to the home screen, he pulled up the other message.

And felt his eyebrows soar sky-high into his hairline.

> **Private Number – September 25, 2014 @ 10:48pm:** _Goodnight, Michael._

Blinking a few times in silent contemplation, he just shook his head with a sigh. Tonight was getting too weird for him. He was just going to go to bed early and sleep for twelve hours. Putting his phone on the side table, he reached down to undo his pants, kicking them off before pulling his shirt off, leaving him in only his under-tank and boxers. Pulling his comforter off from foot of the bed, he rolled himself in it, groaning to himself again. Reaching back for his phone, he sent out one more message for the night before setting his alarm, taking his glasses off, and plugging the device in to charge before he slipped off into dreamland.

> **Michael – September 25, 2014 @ 10:55pm:** _Goodnight, moron. Unblock your fucking number._

 


	5. It's Michael, damnit!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin cannot say Michael, Geoff feels like he wasn't informed, and a trip to GameStop is planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few days later than I planned, but I was dying. Had a concert and was sick on top of it. But I'm baaaack. Enjoy the doom.

“Micool!”

“Dude, it's _Michael_. Get it right,” Michael rolled his eyes, correcting Gavin for what was probably the eightieth time since they started to actually hang out. The Brit had been a constant thorn in his side for the past month and a half, ever since that late night meeting, and the red-head was slowly getting used to it. Though he would never admit it to anyone – especially to Ray who had been secretly calling them “Mavin” in the privacy of his room when it was just the two of them.

Seriously, who the fuck actually named couples?

“That's what I said. _Micool_.”

Michael shook his head in exasperation. “Ugh, whatever. Anyway, what are you doing here? You're never up this early.” He was referencing the fact that it was eight in the morning on a Saturday and here was Gavin, practically skipping – what kind of adult fucking skips? – to the table that he was sitting at. The only reason he himself had gotten up early was because he woke up at six, wide awake. Probably had to do with the fact that he passed out at nine the night before. It had been a long day, what with two tests and a paper that he only finished the night (morning?) before at four o'clock with a nine a.m. class. Needless to say, he was just fucking done by dinner that night.

Speaking of dinner, it seemed that Gavin was a current hit with his group of friends. Or, well, _their_ group now. And it seemed they had more than just Ray as mutual friends. Apparently, Gavin and Geoff went way back to when the Brit was in middle-school. Apparently, before he had made the official move to the states when he hit eighteen, Gavin had come over to America to stay with a host family for a few years from twelve until he was fifteen. It was a complete and total surprise to everyone that the two already knew each other when Michael invited him to dinner in the cafeteria the week after that meeting.

“ _So, everyone, I have a new moron to introduce to the group... who seems to have fucking disappeared. Again. What the shit, where did that asshole go this time?” Michael mumbled, eyes narrowing as he searched the small area that the group occupied for his British classmate._

“ _Nice one there, Michael,” Ryan piped in, fingers clasped in front of his face as he watched the younger man search the area. “Already lost the new guy?”_

“ _He clearly has no sense of direction,” Jack muttered as he chewed thoughtfully on his sandwich, not look up from the math book he was reading._

“ _Shut the fuck up.”_

“ _Now, now, dicks,” Geoff queued in, patting Michael on the head as he walked in on the conversation, taking his normal seat at the head of the table. “What's going on now?”_

_It didn't matter that the guy was a grad student who owned his own apartment – he still came onto campus during dinners. Said it was just easier to pay the twenty bucks a week for five nights of dinner than to actual cook for himself, even if he was a fucking amazing cook; especially given the fact that his wife typically worked during the late hours and their daughter stayed with her grandmother until one of them got home. Luckily enough for him, the school didn't give two fucks on what level of degree you were at – you go to the school, you can eat in the cafeteria (even though most of those who were of higher years would opt out as soon as they got into the campus apartments junior year.)_

_Unless you were Ryan, who got a kick out of living in dorms with shared bathrooms for some odd reason._

“ _Michael has a new **friend** that he wants to introduce to the group, but he apparently got lost,” Ray grinned around his sub, chewing noisily as Jack shook his head next to him._

“ _Ohhhh, a **friend** , Michael?” Geoff laughed, ribbing on Michael as he pulled out his phone to send a text to Griffon. “Now is this just a friend or -”_

“ _Fuck off, guys. It's not like that,” Michael spat._

“ _Sure, buddy. Whatever you say,” the oldest gent, still chuckling to himself, ignored the growling that was slowly getting louder from the lad. “Anyways, where is this guy?”_

“ _If I knew, I wouldn't be looking for him -”_

“ _ **Micool**!” Suddenly, Gavin came skidding around the corner, tripping over his own feet and slipping on the floor onto his ass. “Bloody 'ell!”_

“ _ **Damnit, Gavin,** ” the auburn-haired man screamed, gaining laughs from the group around him. He winced as the other fell, feeling his own behind get sore, but ignored it in favor of what seemed to be a recurring problem. “Michael – **Michael**! Get it right!”_

“ _It's not my fault my bloody accent makes your name sound different, **Michael**.”_

“ _See? **See**?! You got it right that time.” He was getting ready to shake the taller boy and maybe attempt to get a semblance of intelligence out of him._

“ _Only because I had to actually focus on it, you ninny.”_

“ _What the fuck even is a **ninny**? Speak fucking English!”_

“ _But Micool-”_

“ _Alright, lovebirds, let's just calm the fuck down. You guys can kiss and fuck later -” Ray started before being cut off by Geoff._

“ _ **Gavin, you fucking asshole!** ”_

“ _What -” The British idiot had no time to finish that sentence as he dragged into a hug by the 'leader' of their little group, as he titled himself. “ **Geoff**? What are you doing here?”_

“ _That's what I should be asking you, you fucking dick!” Geoff's voice broke as he pulled back, slapping the younger upside the back of the head and causing him – and Michael – to wince with a squeak. “You've been in the fuck states and you didn't even tell me?”_

“ _But Geoff, I didn't know you were going to be here!”_

“ _You are such fucking moron.”_

After that, Gavin explained to Geoff - and subsequently the whole group - that his mother had wanted him to grab up an American education, so he had applied to around twenty schools around the country. When it came back that he was accepted to this one, his mother bought him up a plane ticket and flew them across the ocean to set things up with the school. 

Michael had the inkling there there was more to the story than meets the eye, but didn't feel that it was his place quite yet to seriously question it. Instead, he watching from his seat as the two acted like morons for the whole cafe to see. Geoff and Gavin bickered back and forth, the oldest gent occasionally pulling the younger lad in for a hug every now and again. The two of them pretty much acted like father and son.

Which was actually pretty accurate way to describe them, it seemed.

“Michael?” His thoughts were interrupted by his soul-moron speaking.

“Yes, idiot?”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Probably not.”

“But Michael!”

“' _But Micool'_! Jesus fucking Christ, Gavin.” He shook his head, nearly diving face first into his eggs as he realized his food was getting cold. He wasn't even going to bother correcting him again. “Now what the fuck did you say?”

Gavin huffed dramatically, swirling around his cereal with his spoon. “If you'd stop stuffing your gob for a second, you'd hear that I said I got up early to get breakfast before the bus leaves. And why are you up so early?”

“Because I couldn't sleep, dumbass. And what bus are you talking about?”

“ _The_ bus, Michael,” Gavin sighed in exasperation. “The one that takes the students to the center for shopping? I wanna go to GameStop!” He dragged out the last word, wiggling around in his chair.

“Do you have ants in your fucking pants or something? And why don't you just drive there instead of taking the bus?” Michael questioned, raising his eyebrow.

“Because I don't have a _car_. Or an American license, you nob.”

“Psh. Well, then I'll take you,” Michael's mouth moved before he could even really think about it. Wait, what the fuck did he just volunteer for?

“Really?” Gavin perked up, eyes widening. “Like, _really_ really?”

“Uh...” He trailed off, pushing his glasses up his nose before dropping his fork back on his tray. Eh, whatever. It's not like he had anything else to do. “Yeah, really. We can make a day of it.”

“ _Yes_!” Gavin cheered, throwing his arms in the air. “Well, let's not faff around!”

“ _Faff_?”

“I'll meet you back here in 15 minutes – don't leave without me!” The sandy-haired lad practically sang, jumping from his seat and rushing out in a whirlwind. And tripping up the stairs in the process. “Fucking bloody hell!”

“Be careful, you fucking idiot!” Michael yelled, instantly feeling the pain in his knees from where the moron landed. Shaking his head as the Brit quickly pulled himself up before running out once again, he sighed to himself tiredly.

This was going to be a _long_ day.


	6. Gavin says really strange things...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael ponders, Ray blushes, and Gavin does more stupid shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME SO LONG. I had little to NO motivation this weekend and after such a long week, I just wanted to relax. Plus, I hit a bit of a spell with this and just kinda... flopped. But here is more, bigger, longer, and uncut! I made sure it was longer than what I normally write - SO PLEASE DON'T HATE ME.
> 
> Also, I'm taking prompts in for when I hit a lull with this. Pleeeease, send them my way. I'M BEGGING YOU.
> 
> <3

The trip to GameStop ended up lasting for nearly _four hours_ between the hour it took to get there and back – because who needs a normal ten minute drive there when Gavin knows a short cut – and the three hours spent in the store while they were showing a new demo. Michael ended up beating the shit out of Gavin on the game – some sort of mock up of Halo – and leaving the British idiot in the dust with a triumphant cry of _'fuck yeah, asshole!'_ Gavin pouted, but quickly got over it when his eyes landed on the Halo: Master Chief Collection for Xbox One. Then he proceeded to do a happy dance around the new section.

Michael simply rolled his eyes before dragging the moron to the counter.

It was well past three o'clock at this point. When Michael had said they would make it a day trip, he hadn't really been literal, but it seemed to have been taken to heart by Gavin. Especially since what was supposed to only be fifteen minutes of getting ready transitioned into an hour. The auburn-haired lad didn't even want to know what took so long, so he just shook his head and let it be. Especially when he noticed the bulking underneath the sleeve of his left arm.

Michael was still unsure of how to approach that. His own wounds had healed sometime ago, leaving the faintest of scars that would eventually go away completely. And he hadn't had anything new appear since them. But he noticed that no matter what, Gavin kept his arms covered. Even though it's been a month and a half and the marks should be healed by now. He knew he wasn't the only one suspicious about it. Ray, of course, knew because of Michael. Ryan probably knew, but kept it to himself. Jack was oblivious to the entire thing. And the red-head was pretty sure that Gavin would die if Geoff had any inkling of it – just the general fact the older gent would work himself into a voice-breaking tizzy if he knew about it, since he treated Gavin like he was his kid, gave a pretty good idea that he had no clue.

And what about his parents? Did they have any idea how depressed their son was? He knew that both of Gavin's parents were alive and well, and that he had a younger brother. But what he didn't know was why the younger was so eager to leave his home life. His home country. Travel thousands of miles overseas to come to a community college in the middle of Texas? Something just seemed odd about it all.

He figured he'd pry it out of him at some point.

Which now leads to where he was left after the GameStop trip: sitting in his room at his Xbox, playing Destiny with a half-eaten lollipop dangling from his mouth. He had left Gavin about an hour ago to his own devices. He had tried to get Gavin to drag his ass with him to dinner later at Geoff's, but he just got a cryptic answer of 'we'll see' and something about talking to his family or something via Skype. Apparently it was something he did every Saturday with his parents.

His phone vibrated from where it sat on his bed. Reaching up without looking away from the screen, he felt around until he grasped the cool plastic of his phone case. Pulling it down, he paused his game before unlocking his phone.

> **Ray – November 8, 2014 @ 3:23pm:** _Duuuuuude. This fucking history paper is killing me. It's breaking my balls, man. BREAKING. MY. BALLS._

Michael snorted, chuckling a bit as he shook his head. Clearly Ray was bored. Or procrastinating. Or all of the above.

> **Michael – November 8, 2014 @ 3:24pm:** _Wasn't that paper due yesterday?_
> 
> **Ray – November 8, 2014 @ 3:26pm:** _No, that was my economics paper. I finished that at like... 4. In the morning. This has something to do with the effect of WWII on the world. It's due Monday._
> 
> **Michael – November 8, 2014 @ 3:28pm:** _Wow, don't you sound like you know what the fuck you are talking about. And if it's due Monday, that means you aren't going to get it done until 3am on Monday, right?_
> 
> **Ray – November 8, 2014 @ 3:31pm:** _Fuck you. And it'll probably be closer to 5._
> 
> **Michael – November 8, 2014 @ 3:32pm:** _Okay, whatever. Besides the paper, what's up?_
> 
> **Ray – November 8, 2014 @ 3:36pm:** I _was just wondering how your date went._

The older lad rolled his eyes at this, taking the now chewed up lollipop stick and tossing it in the trash before replying.

> **Michael – November 8, 2014 @ 3:39pm:** _It wasn't a date, fucktard. If it were a date, I wouldn't have fucking invited you._
> 
> **Ray – November 8, 2014 @ 3:41pm:** _You're an asshole, by the way. Waking me up at 8:30. That's wrong on so many levels._
> 
> **Michael – November 8, 2014 @ 3:42pm:** _Not my fault you didn't go to bed early. I was just trying to be a nice friend._
> 
> **Ray – November 8, 2014 @ 3:43pm:** _Stop changing the subject. What did you and Gavvy pants do?_
> 
> **Michael – November 8, 2014 @ 3:45pm:** _We just went to GS, dude. Nothing fucking major. But I gotta go. I'm gonna head to the school store before it closes to get some soda and shit. Wanna come?_
> 
> **Ray – November 8, 2014 @ 3:46pm:** _Yeah, dude. I'll meet you outside in five. Text Gav to see if he wants to go._

Michael stretched, yawning as he did so with a flourish. He needed a couple of things for game night with the guys tonight. The plan was to head over to Geoff's around five-ish for dinner, then games and bevs until they either all went home or passed out on the living room floor. Normally the latter was exactly what Ray and Michael would do – Michael because he drank enough to quench the thirst of an entire army and Ray because he carpooled with him. But it was normally a good time.

Pushing himself up from the floor, the red-head searched around his room for a hoodie – it had been raining on and off since around noon – and his wallet, shoving the money-carrier in his back pocket before pulling on the warmer material. It had been a little chillier as of late, some sort of cold-front, and Michael was feeling a bit homesick. Sometimes he wondered why he left Jersey for Texas. Other times he wondered why he went home to his crazy family.

“Let's see if the idiot responds,” Michael mumbled, grabbing his phone from the floor and sending off a message to his idiot friend. It took a mere moment for him to get a response, his lips turning down as he read it.

> **Gavin – November 8, 2014 @ 3:55pm:** _Sorry, my boi. I'm feeling under the weather and as top as it would be, I'm going to just stay here._

Shaking his head, he stuffed his phone in the pocket of his hood. He didn't get how he was suddenly feeling sick when he was fine earlier. “ _Whatever_ ,” he mumbled to himself, grabbing his keys before leaving his room.

* * *

“Dude, that was _so_ much longer than five minutes,” Ray shouted to Michael as he left his building. “It's cold and wet outside.”

“Shut the fuck up, you aren't going to melt from waiting _five extra minutes_ ,” Michael groused, pulling his hood over his head as he made his way over to his friend. The rain wasn't coming down hard, but it was definitely more than a sprinkle.

Ray shook his head, following after the Jersey boy as they made the short walk to the campus store. “I don't get why we don't just go to the actual store to get shit. This campus crockpot is so expensive.”

Michael snorted. “Campus crockpot? You've been hanging around Gavin too much. He actually called me a fucking _donut_ today. Who uses that as an insult? And I already wasted enough gas getting lost with the moron today. He supposedly knew a 'shortcut'.”

“Dude, didn't I ever tell you not to follow one of Gavin's shortcuts? That's just asking for trouble. Kid gets lost in a paper bag, with a map and a flashlight.” Ray mumbled, adjusting the hood of his own hoodie as he got hit in the face with raindrops. “And he's said weirder things. Trust me. I thought I told you that, too?”

“No, but I fucking wish you had. It took us three times as long to get to the fucking store,” the older boy grumbled in irritation, shoving his hands in his pockets as he sidestepped a group of jocks on the side-walk. “Anyway, do you know the game plan tonight?”

“Not a clue,” the Puerto Rican shrugged, pushing past some shorter girl into the store. “As far as I know, Geoff just plans to get drunk and try to find a way to screw his wife without any of us noticing.”

“As if we wouldn't fucking notice,” Michael shook his head. “Griffon isn't exactly quiet – Hey, Tina,” he interrupted himself mid-sentence, waving hello to the girl behind the register. “And Geoff is... well, Geoff.”

“ _Yeaaaah_ ,” Ray dragged out, ducking behind the snack aisle quickly.

Michael raised an eyebrow at this action, looking at Ray before looking at Tina and back again. “ _Dude_. No _way_.”

“What?”

The auburn-haired lad smirked, nodding back at the dark-haired girl. “You like her, don't you?”

“What?” Ray questioned, his cheeks turning the slightest bit of pink as he avoided looking at Michael. “Nah, man,” he mumbled in return, grabbing a back of chips.

“You are so full of shit!” Michael exclaimed, grinning in ultimate satisfaction as he grabbed himself a bag of Cheetos. “You so think she is cute. Don't make me call you out in front of her, cause you know I will.”

“Alright, _alright_!” Ray hissed, looking around as if it was a conspiracy. “Just shut up about it.”

“No way, dude. You're the one always saying that you could care less about dating. This is too funny,” Michael joked around, just trying to get underneath Ray's skin.

“I hate you, you know that?”

“You _love_ me, don't deny it.”

“You suck such dick,” Ray mumbled before turning his eyes down to Michael's sleeve. “And you're bleeding.”

“You can deny it all you want, but – wait, _what_?”

“ _Dude_ ,” Ray stopped, using his freehand to grab Michael's wrist and lifting it up. “You're fucking _bleeding_.”

Michael stopped what he was doing, looking at his arm. Pulling up the sleeve, he winced – how the fuck did he not notice he was bleeding? - and took in the cuts that were starting to mar his left arm. Again. “What the _fuck_ ,” the older lad growled, letting Ray drag him upfront to grab some paper-towels or something to stop the bleeding. “This is un-fucking believable.”

“Where is Gavin?” Ray asked, his voice full of worry before he turned to Tina. “Tina, do you have a first aid kit or towels or a giant bandage or something?”

“Oh, holy crap,” Tina gasped, her eyes wide as saucers as she took in the scene. “Is he alright? Is that from -”

“Soulmate, yeah.”

“Crap. Holy crap,” she repeated before ducking around behind the counter. “I think we have a first aid kit somewhere, hold on...”

Michael could feel his eye twitching as he waited, slowly getting more and more pissed off as time went by. “I'm going to fucking kill him, I swear.”

“Dude,” Ray demanded. “ _Where_ is _Gavin_?”

Michael shook his head. “I don't know, do I look like I have a fucking tracker or a beeper on the kid?”

“No, but you texted him earlier. What did he say?”

“Just that he wasn't feeling good and probably wasn't coming tonight – what does that have to do with anything?”

“Got it!” Tina chimed in, jumping up from behind the register to hand over the kit to Ray. “There should be some gauze and things in there. Do you need any help?”

Ray shook his head, his cheeks turning a bit pink again as he took the box from her. He pulled out what he needed for now – figuring gauze and wrappings would be good enough – before handing it back. “No, this should be good. Thanks, Tina. Sorry to bother you about this.”

“No, no!” She cried out, throwing her hands in the air as she shook her head. “I completely understand. My soulmate once decided it would be totally cool to scrape up the entire left side of their face somehow while I was in the middle of class. It really sucked.”

“Uh...” Ray trailed off, eyes wide behind glasses. That sounded vaguely familiar to him. “ _That's_ , well... _**that's**_ -”

“ _Dude_!” Michael growled, interrupting the two. He had already applied the gauze to the wounds, but couldn't wrap it by himself that well. “Kinda gushing blood here.”

“Fuck, sorry man,” Ray muttered, scrambling to start winding the bandage around the older's arm. “And like I was saying before,” his voice dropped to a whisper, knowing Tina was right there. “One of us should probably check on him. Like, now. _Right now_. Because who knows what he could be doing on his own.”

“Oh, I know _exactly_ what he is doing,” Michael hissed, grimacing at the bandage job. Whatever. At least he stopped bleeding. He waiting for Ray to finish before he taped up the end. “My arm here is proof of just what he's doing.”

“Well, no shit, dude, but something had to bring this on. Normally this shit doesn't just magically happen. Something had to have triggered him.”

“What, are you some sort of psychologist now?” Michael rolled his eyes, pulling back down the sleeve of his jacket. “Did you change your degree without telling me?”

“I go on Tumblr a lot.”

Michael 'psh'ed, shaking his head as he handed his stuff over to Ray. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was starting to worry a bit. While he may not feel that deeply for the British boy, he still cared for him like a friend of some sorts. He didn't want him to just drop off the face of the Earth. “Take care of this shit for me, I'll pay you back later. I'm going to go check on the idiot to make sure he's still alive,” he mumbled the last bit before bolting it out the door.

Pulling out his phone, he avoided texting and went straight to calling, growling as he waiting for the phone to ring. When it did start ringing, he mumbled ' _pick up, pick up, pick up_ ' repeatedly under his breath as he jogged back to his own building.

“ _Hello?”_

“Gavin!” Michael practically yelled, trying to contain the urge to scream at the fucking idiot and instead pretended like this was a normal call. God, the kid actually sounded exhausted. “Where are you?”

“ _Uh...”_ he paused as if trying to think of an excuse. _“W-why, what's going on?”_

Pulling his keys from his pocket, he unlocked the main entrance before pushing his way in, taking the stairs up two at a time as he kept the Brit on the phone. He didn't give him an answer just yet, just wanting to keeping him on the phone long enough so he could get to the younger boy's room without him knowing that he was on his way there.

“ _Micool?”_

Shoving the door open to Gavin's suite, he quickly made his way over to his door. “Open your door, Gavin.”

“ _What?!”_

“I'm right outside, Gavin.”

“ _B-but... I'm not in my room right now! I'm at the library.”_

“I can hear you moving around in there idiot. Now open your door.”

“ _Then I'm naked. I'm currently getting dressed it and it would be bloody awkward to have you come in right this momen-”_

“ _ **Open the fucking door!”**_ Michael shouted, done with playing this game.

There was a pause on both ends, harsh panting from Michael filling up the silence. He was fully prepared to start smashing his fist into the door to get the attention of everyone in the suite if this idiot didn't open his fucking door-

 _Click_.

He watched in anticipation as the lock to the door sounded before the door started to open slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insert shameless note to follow me on tumblr here:
> 
> werekindofapackagedeal.tumblr.com


	7. You just... you just can't, okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael confronts Gavin. And further plans are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE cookie for all those that can find a lyrical reference in here to a certain recently popular song. And I'll fix any errors tomorrow. I wanted to post this up before I went to bed so that you could all read it and hate me for not taking it the direction you think it's going to go :3

As the door slowly started to open, Michael started to panic. He didn't want Gavin to know that they were soulmates – _fuck_ , he _really_ didn't want anyone to know, but he couldn't do much about that now – and if he told him that he knew about the cuts, then it would end everything. It wasn't an option. It just was not. He felt himself immediately straighten, pasting a fake smirk on his face as he tried to make it seem as if he didn't just run there from the friggin' store.

 _Greenbluegreen_ eyes greeted him, poking around the door in what was clearly hesitation, seeming more tired than when he had last seen the lad. Gavin's hair stood up in off angles as always, though now it seemed messier than normal. He hid behind the door, keeping his body from view so that only his face was seen. “What's going on, _Micool_?”

Michael internally sighed, not even jumping to correct the lad's pronunciation as he tried to peek around the door into the room. “Is your roommate around?”

“Uh, no, Miles is off at some sort of meeting-”

“Great!” He announcing, pushing past Gavin and ignoring the squawking as he invited himself in. “Then let's pack you a bag, because you're coming with me to Geoff's tonight.”

“B-but Michael, I'm really not feeling top right now,” Gavin tried to excuse himself, hiding in the shadows behind the door. Not that there really were that much for shadow, but just enough that he could shove certain body parts behind it.

Well, two could play this game.

“Too fucking bad, dude. You've skipped out on this the past, what, three times we invited you? No point now. You can drink your sickness away,” Michael started towards the light switch, pretending he didn't hear the Brit saying ' _wait, Micool_!' as he flipped it up.

And that's when he saw it.

Gavin tried to hide it, but he was able to catch an eyeful of the slashes marring tanned skin, going from wrist to elbow. Some were old – probably from the first time he did it – and some were clearly fresh, still bleeding and looking rather deep.

Just how far had Gavin planned to go before Michael stopped him?

“Gavin, what the _fuck_ are those?”

Might as well jump straight to the point. Even though he knew exactly what they were, he knew it was best if he played dumb, putting on a poker face as he tried to look around Gavin's lanky form to get a better view.

The British lad blinked, his face going pale as he failed to hide his arm behind his back.“What?”

“ _Wot_ – don't play dumb with me. What are those?” He pointed to the obvious marks, moving closer to him.

“It's...” Gavin trailed off, looking anywhere but at Michael as he tried to back into the wall as if it would shelter him. The oldest lad could almost see the smoke coming from his ears as he tried to think of an excuse. “Well, there was this tractor-”

“ _Gavin_.”

The Brit paused, not to look up to meet the older boy's eyes still. Michael reached forward, none-too-gently lifting the other's chin to get him to look him in the eye. Wide eyes met his own hidden behind metal-frames, a glossy sort of sheen reflecting the surface of those sea-green orbs.

“Don't fucking bullshit me. What's going on?”

“... It's nothing, Michael.”

Michael could almost feel the rage seeping from him as he stared down the slightly taller lad, his hand reaching behind Gavin to grasp his still bleeding arm in a firm, but gentle hold. “It's not nothing, you fucking idiot. It's... It's a lot more than that!” He resisted the urge to shove him as he looked around the room. “Give me something to wrap your arm. There is no way we are just leaving it so you fucking bleed out like you clearly seem to be doing.”

“But Michael-”

“ _ **Now**_ , Gavin,” the red-head seethed, deep-brown eyes narrowing. “This is non-negotiable.”

Gavin sighed deeply, almost as if this were some sort of deep burden on him and not the other way around. Dragging Michael with him to a chest in front of his bed – because he still had a tight grip on the sandy-haired boy's wrist – he unlocked it before rummaging through it with his undamaged hand, pulling out medical supplies and tossing them on the comforter. He pulled the older boy after him before sitting on the edge of the bed and holding out his damaged limb like an obedient puppy.

Now it was Michael's turn to sigh as he shook his head, reaching for the supplies and getting to work. It was a friggin' miracle that everyone around him seemed to first-aid kits floating around. Well, everyone except for himself. Maybe that was something he should invest in on his next trip to Walmart... _Wait_ , no, wait. There would be no future need because this was _not_ going to happen again. Michael was fucking determined to make sure it wouldn't.

“Can you at least tell me why?” Michael asked quietly, pushing his glasses back up his nose before continuing to fix up the Brit's arm. He was desperately trying to quell his rage, knowing it wouldn't help the situation.

Gavin was quiet for a moment, staring down at his lap in silence for what seemed like hours before he shook his head and spoke up. “It's just... I don't even know. I started it when I was young. But... When I did it back then, it was through little ways – a single cut on my arm, another on my leg, the smallest scratch on my wrist – but it just... escalated.” Michael resisted the urge to snort here with the thought of _'no shit'_ as he let him continue. “Things sort of... set me off. Anything, really. Something as bloody stupid as a... as a missed call can make me get the urge, bugger all.”

“Have you tried, I don't know... seeking professional help?” He didn't want to seem like he was trying to call Gavin crazy or anything, but fucking Christ, this was affecting him now, too.

“Oh, that would be _top_ ,” the younger man stated sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I never thought of that. They have doctors for this kind of shit? Maybe they can stuff some pills down my gob while their at it.”

“Okay, dude, I was only trying to fucking help,” Michael growled, eyebrow twitching as he did his best to not punch Gavin straight in the dick. He made sure to tie the bandage extra fucking tight just for that comment, ignoring the freshman as he flinched with a mumble of 'baby'.

“Of course I've seen someone before, you donut – I can't even _count_ on both hands anymore how many. Plebs, that's what they were. Wanting to shove bloody meds down my throat.”

The auburn-haired boy breathed in and out deeply through his nose, trying to not get pissed off and snap at him. This was obviously a delicate subject and it should be handled as such. So he changed topics to something he really didn't want to approach, thinking that the fragile step-around might keep him grounded so he didn't lunge at Gavin in a fit of rage. “What about your... soulmate? Did you ever think about how this is effecting them?”

The younger shook his head. “Micool, they would be better off without me around anywho.”

“That's not true!” Michael shouted, surprising himself in the process. He quickly tried to cover it up. “You don't know that. They could be out there... waiting for you.”

“ _Michael_..."

“No, seriously! You don't know that you're alone, Gavin. You _don't_.” He couldn't tell him. He just... he couldn't get his hopes up that it was him only to smash them into the ground that he didn't believe in the bullshit. It didn't matter to him that fate or God or whatever wanted them to be together – it wasn't what he wanted. Sure, he... cared for Gavin, in his own way. But it wasn't love. It wasn't even _like_ like. He was his friend.

“There is no proof that I'm not alone, though, is there?”

“But you just... you can't, Gavin. You just can't,” Michael gasped, trying to gather control of his emotions that were starting to build up. He could feel his stomach doing flip-flops at the thought of this kid – this stupid, idiotic, beautiful kid – believing there was nothing to live for. He shook his head, finally sitting down next to the younger on the bed and staring straight ahead. He just didn't know what to really say at this point to try and stop him from doing this shit. So instead he asked him a simple question.

“Aren't you scared that you might... die?”

Gavin froze, turning his head slowly to look over at his friend. His face then slowly relaxed and a small, sad smile graced his lips. Almost as if he were already defeated. “Nothing scares me anymore, Michael.”

Now it was Michael's turn to freeze at hearing that statement. Something about it was just so... depressing. Not that the whole situation itself wasn't a fucking bag of kicked puppies, but just that statement seemed so... final. Like he had already given up and was throwing in the towel. And maybe he had. It was completely possible that whatever pain Gavin had been living with was taking it's mental toll on him. And even the auburn-haired lad was smart enough to know what that meant.

But he wasn't having it. He wasn't going to live with that, knowing he could have done something.

“Well, then, here is the plan, Gavvy.”

“ _Gavvy_?”

“Shut up,” Michael put a hand up, stopping the boy from saying anything else. “Here's the plan: For tonight, you're coming with me to Geoff's – _ah, ah, ah_ , I can see you trying to butt in, shut the _fuck_ up. We'll come up with some excuse for your arm and you'll just wear a hoodie.”

“Well, fine, that solves tonight's problem,” Gavin mumbled, standing up to grab his backpack from across the room. “What about the rest of the time?”

“You come to me.”

Gavin shook his head fiercely, eyebrows creasing together as he tried to fight it, turning back to look at the beanie-wearing lad. “I can't do that to you, Micool-”

“Didn't I tell you to shut the fuck up? You aren't doing it to me, idiot. I'm doing it for you. We're pals. I can't just have you thinking no one fucking cares. Because...” Michael trailed off here, trying to come up with the right words without seeming like a fucking girl. “Well, because I do. Even if you do have a huge fucking nose.”

Gavin stopped what he was doing and Michael, for a moment, was afraid that he had set the boy off as his shoulders started to shake. The red-head was about to go over to him and apologize until he heard the chuckling.

“You're such a silly little sausage, Micool.”

Rolling his eyes, Michael snorted out a brief laugh. He didn't even have a reply for it at this point. Laying himself down across Gavin's bed – _damn_ , was his bed uncomfortable. Fucker really needed to get some sort of bed padding – he stared at the ceiling as he contemplated the current situation. So, he was now basically Gavin's version of a security blanket. He wasn't really even sure how he got himself into this situation (something he noticed to be a running pattern as of late) and if he were honest with himself, he didn't know how he felt about it. He wanted to keep his distance from his soul-idiot, not wanting anything to give it away. But then there he goes, offering to be there when Gavin needed something or some _one_ to talk to.

Jesus, he was losing his f _ucking mind._

“Hey Michael?”

“What's up?”

“Can we just... not tell Geoff? Please, Michael. I'll try you're plan, even if it makes me seem like a complete nob, but... He doesn't need to know,” Gavin spoke quietly, as if the walls would hear him and tell the oldest gent in his stead.

As much as Michael didn't want to keep this a secret from their ' _leader_ ' – because let's face it, that's basically what he was – he knew that right now wouldn't be the right time to tell him. It would only open up a whole new, huge can of worms that didn't need to be dealt with. Yet.

“Yeah, Gav, we can keep it between us,” ' _for now_ ', he added mentally. “Now pack up your shit and let's go. Ray is probably pissed that I've kept him waiting.” And with that said, Michael pulled out his phone to send a quick text to Ray.

> **Michael – November 8, 2014 @ 4:50pm:** _So, I've sort of got this shit under control with a plan and Gavin is coming with us tonight. Two birds, one stone, all that good shit. Get ready, we're leaving soon._
> 
> **Ray – November 8, 2014 @ 4:51pm:** _You owe me 12 bucks. And fuck yeah, plan Mavin is a go!_
> 
> **Michael – November 8, 2014 @ 4:53pm:** _STOP FUCKING TRYING TO MAKE ME GAY!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful response, my loves! Really, I can't believe how popular this seems to be - and how much, everyday, I can't wait to get home from work everyday just to write more.
> 
> Also, in regards to Gavin's response: little things can be very triggering. Trust me when I say this. As someone who used to have self-harm issues (and still fighting that battle everyday), I can honestly say that the littlest, stupidest thing can set someone off. And mood swings can occur as quickly as the weather changes (Well, at least if you're in New England). And in regards to that note, let me also make it clear: Gavin is not me. I am not Gavin. I am simply basing him and things off some of my own experiences (as well as others that I have read about) while adding things that I can imagine would lead to this. His personality will still be something close to what I've seen from RT videos, just with the added bit of fictional history.
> 
> And again, as always, thanks for reading and follow me on tumblr for updates or even just to talk! I'm always around :)


	8. But Micool!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bevs are drank, Slenderman is played, and snuggles happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO GOD DAMNED LONG TO POST!
> 
> Long story short (or as short as I can manage), I started to work 10 hour shifts for two weeks to help out with a new kid that came into work. And then my body decided it would be TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME to get Strep Throat in which I was DYING for, like, a week. 
> 
> And then I caught something else on top of it. FML.
> 
> I've been SLOWLY writing this chapter out, but decided tonight would be the night that I would finish it before I went to bed. If it's wicked shitty, I'm sorry! Like I said, I've been going crazy lately.
> 
> PLEASE DON'T HATE ME AND ENJOY THE CHAPTER!

“Hey, fuckers! Glad you could take time out of your precious, _busy_ schedule to come – _you're fucking late_ ,” Geoff yelled from the kitchen as the lads entered the apartment. The smell of pizza wafted through the air, practically leaving Ray to drool with hunger as he almost floated into the kitchen, Michael and Gavin following behind him. It was just past six, Michael having to get his own shit together before dragging Ray away from his Xbox - _“You can fucking play when we get to Geoff's place, asshole!”_ \- and they were only a few minutes late.

“It's not my fault these fuckers decided to take their time,” Michael grumbled, dropping himself onto the couch next to Jack, punching the bearded man in the shoulder in greeting. Jack nodded to Michael, not taking his eyes off the screen from the match between him and Ryan, who sat on the other side of Jack, in Halo. “Where's Griffon?”

“Something about taking Millie over to her mother's house for a girl's night? I don't even know,” Geoff answered, poking his head around the doorframe briefly before going back into the kitchen.

“How much of a 'girl's night' can you have with a _three-year-old_?” Ryan pipped in just before landing the final kill on Jack's team, eliciting a laugh from Michael at the bearded-man's dramatic shout of 'No!!'.

"I dunno, dude. I just told her to have fun and let her take the kid to do whatever. It's easier that way."

Michael had known these guys for over a year now, meeting them early on as a freshman. Something with them just clicked after the oldest gent 'accidentally' hit Michael in the face with his tray at dinner one night on the first week in. That was still something in question on just how the fuck it happened. As for the gents, they had known each other for quite a while. Geoff had met Jack sometime during his sophomore year (both now in the grad school program there) and Ryan had been found two years previous. Found being the word used because he was hiding underneath the alcove in the cafeteria that was now their main eating place. No one really felt the need to question why the gents were older than they should be for grad school. Or why Ryan was only a junior at twenty-five and still living in the dorms.

Seriously. _No one_ questioned it.

Ray finally made his presence known as he walked back into the living room, a piece of pizza dangling from his mouth and two boxes in each hand. “Eat up, fuckers!”

Michael dived towards the pizza, quickly grabbing at a slice of sausage before it was all gone. He knew how these guys ate and he wasn't taking any chances. “So,” he spewed around a mouthful of cheese, looking towards Geoff as the oldest gent made his way into the room with a case of beer. “What's the game plan for tonight?”

“Halo. Left4Dead2. Maybe some new shit on steam that I bought. I dunno, man, do I look like I make a fucking agenda every Saturday?”

“Well, I mean, it would make things easier on you, Geoff,” Gavin finally jumped into the conversation from where he sat huddled on the mushroom chair in the corner.

“Shut you, you little shit,” Geoff grumbled, grabbing a bev and tossing it to the clumsy Brit – who in turn squawked like a chicken and nearly dropped the bottle on the floor, causing the rest of the guys to laugh at his near misfortune.

Michael shook his head, chuckling. “You're a fucking moron.”

“But _Micool_!”

“ _ **But Micool!**_ ” The entire room erupted in imitation.

“I _do_ know something that would be fun to try,” Geoff trailed off, rubbing his mustache in an almost diabolical sort of way. “Hey, Gavin. You ever heard of ' _Slender_ '?”

* * *

 

They were about 4 bevs in at this point.

“ ** _Ohhhh_**!” Gavin screamed in terror, almost violently throwing the mouse of Geoff's computer away from himself as he tried to back away only to be body blocked by Michael. “The note, Michael, _the bloody note_! I'm gonna die and I've only got _one note_!”

Michael was laughing hard enough that tears were streaming down his cheeks, as were most of the other guys. He couldn't believe how scared this idiot was getting over a stupid game.

It was kind of adorable, though.

“Gavin. _Gavin_. There's one – _**Gavin**_. There's one on the tree over there. Look, he's not going to get you if you _stop fucking looking behind you_. Seriously – oh, and you're dead. You are _so_ fucking _dead_.”

The Brit squeaked in terror before jumping away from the screen and backwards into Michael again, this time taking both himself and the red-head down with a loud thump as the screeching noise from the game was drowned out by Gavin's even louder squeal of terror. The older lad shoved Gavin off of him, still laughing even with the pain in his ass from the landing. The sandy-haired lad rolled over, chortling through his normal... 'Gavin Noises' as they called them.

“Dude...” Michael started, wiping at his eyes as he finally got the chance to breathe. “How have you survived life all this time?”

Gavin just gave him a silly grin, shaking his head.

“Whoa, Gavin!” Geoff suddenly appeared in the picture, kneeling on the ground next to the two as he tried to grab at Gavin's arm. The younger man froze immediately, trying to pull his arm back from his pseudo-father, but Geoff had a pretty firm grip. “What the fuck happened here? Gavin -”

“That would be my fault, man,” Michael jumped in, rolling to sit up and adjust his beanie. Time to lie. He promised him they wouldn't tell Geoff for now and he was going to keep it. “We tried using the hot plate in my room cook with – the idiot wanted tea – and when it went off, he scared himself shitless and dumped boiling water everywhere. Fucking let me tell you, the on-campus nurse couldn't stop yelling at him. It was fucking hilarious.”

Geoff narrowed his eyes, seeming to almost not buy it. “How would that be your fault then?”

Michael pondered that for a moment before snorting, a wide grin covering his freckled face as he looked to the two. “Ya know what, I guess it's not. He's just a fucking moron.”

“ _Hey_!”

It was quiet for a moment – besides the other three men in the background chanting something that sounded suspiciously like ' _chug_ ' – before Geoff shook his head, seeming to accept that answer, dropping Gavin's wrist and ruffling his hair with a chuckle. “That he is.”

“Well, _excuse_ _me_ -”

“But you're our moron, so it's fine. Now, get the fuck off the floor. I think Jack said he brought something fun to drink with -”

“ _Whiskey_!” Came to shout from Jack and Ryan. Gavin suddenly looked starry-eyed as he practically skipped towards the gents. Michael and Geoff just looked at each other, exchanging strange looks before shaking their heads with sighs.

“And there we go.”

* * *

The night had been a general success. Ryan, Michael, and Gavin had gotten completely obliterated - well, more so Gavin and Ryan, but Michael was feeling it pretty damn well - while Jack and Geoff had just gotten a decent buzz. Ray, meanwhile, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, ended up smoking enough weed for the six of them on his own and still managed to beat everyone at Halo. And at this point, at nearly three in the morning, everyone was winding down. Gavin was already passed out across the couch - shoes off, smartly enough - and drooling, Geoff sitting at one end with the lad's head in his lap. Ryan was half conscious on the loveseat next to Jack who was still playing L4D2 with Ray, trying not to get brutally murdered by a Tank. Michael sat curled up in the mushroom chair, watching the whole thing through glazed eyes. Once the match was over, it was mutually decided that Ray, Ryan, and Jack would head back to campus while Michael stole the extra bed and Gavin clearly picked his spot on the couch.

“You sure you guys don't just want to crash here? I'm sure someone can just snuggle with Michael,” Geoff jokingly said, ignoring the drunken ' _Hey_!' that came from the red-head. He gently, because it was Gavin, pushed the younger's head off his lap as he stood up to make sure the guys didn't need any help.

“Nah, man. I got this. I only toked, so I can drive us. As soon as I can pry the keys from Ryan... Dude, where the _fuck_ did you put them, because I am not digging through your pants for them. _Again_.”

“ _Mmmph_...” Ryan basically gurgled in an intelligent sort of fashion, fumbling around in his back pocket before pulling out the keyring and whipping it in Ray's general direction.

The Puerto Rican caught it without problems before shaking his head with a sigh, marching to his drunken roommate and dragging one beefy arm over his shoulder, pulling him off the couch with a sway. “Jack, can you get on the other side of him? There is _no way_ I can carry his drunk ass by myself.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jack agreed, pulling the 'Mad King's' arm over his shoulders in imitation. “But if he pukes, I'm aiming him your way.”

“Dude, _you're_ the one that brought the _fucking bottles_ of _whiskey_! If he spews, I'm letting him get a direct hit on you.”

And with that said, the three men slowly teetered their way out the door.

Geoff just shook his head, his own vision spinning a bit as he did so. "Text me when you get back, fuckers!" He called out, hearing the reply from Ray of 'Yes, mother' though the door. Turning to the last of the lads, he raised an eyebrow in question. “You guys gonna be good? I'm going the fuck to bed.”

“Yeah,” Michael hiccuped, giggling into his beer as he stood up with slight tilt. “I'm gonna... go to bed, too.” He murmured, placing the half finished drink on the table to clean up tomorrow.

“Alright. You know where shit is. If you puke, you clean it up. If he pukes,” and with this, Geoff pointed to the sleeping Gavin. “You still clean it up.” He started to walk out of the living room – at a slow, sort of stumbling pace – and into the little hall that lead to the bedrooms. “Goodnight, asshole.”

“Yeah, yeah, goodnight.” Stretching, he yawned to himself as he looked over at his sleeping friend.

The Brit was totally passed out, if his snores were any good indication of the fact.

“Dickie bitch,” Michael slurred with a shake of his head, stumbling down into the spare room of the Ramsey household. It was simple enough – a full bed, dresser, and bedside table – but at that moment, it looked like heaven. Grasping onto the corner of the nightstand, he managed to somehow stop from falling face-first into bed. Giggling quietly to himself in his drunkenness, he messily pulled down the comforter to the foot of the bed. Ugh, he was way too drunk to deal with this. Finally crashing onto the mattress, he closed his eyes, not even bothering to pull up the blankets as he lamented on how good it felt to finally lie the fuck down.

Until the bed shifted on one side.

Cracking one eye open, he fuzzily took in the form of Gavin lying next to him on the pillow-top bed. The sandy-haired boy curled in on himself, facing Michael and lying his head on the older lad's bicep with green-blue eyes half-lidded. Well, it seemed that boundaries were nonexistent with the Brit when intoxicated. Not that they really existed normally. And not that Michael actually cared, being too drunk and lazy to shove him off him. Instead, he just turned onto his side, facing the younger boy to look back at him in the dark. “Thought you were sleeping.”

“Mmm...” Gavin hummed, shaking his head a bit. “Not... not really. Awake. But tired. Didn't want to be alone.”

And Michael could accept that answer.

The two stared at each other for a moment, until Michael's eyes landed on Gavin's arm. Brown eyes narrowed slightly. He reached out, his hand gently padding at the thick covering. Tracing the bandages across Gavin's arm gently, Michael murmured to him softly. “You can't keep doing this, Gavin.”

“Michael...”

“I'm _serious_ , boi,” Michael struggled to find the words, his drunken state inhibiting his mind. “It's just... It's not okay.”

Gavin shook his head, his eyes reflecting sadness even in the darkness. “It... i-it doesn't work like that, Michael,” he stumbled over his own words, his hand moving to grasp Michael's, their fingers intertwining. “Trust me, I-I _know_. I've tried... for years to just... stop. T-to stop being who I am and be... _better_. Be b-better for everyone.”

Michael could feel his cheeks heating up just the slightest bit more – even if he attempted to tell himself it was just because of all the booze – as he clutched onto Gavin's hand tightly, his fingers seeming to have minds of their own and interlinking with the Brit's. It took him a minute to process what had been said and when he finally did, he shook his head vehemently in disagreement. “That's not _it_ , you _idiot_. You don't... you don't... you don't need to be _better_. For everyone. You just... you need to be _yourself_ and _okay_. And **_whole_**. 'Cause being cut up and broken really sucks.” He paused for a moment, eyes crossing as he thought. “Huge _nobs_. Like... massive ones.”

The younger lad giggle-snorted, wiggling his way a little closer to Michael. He closed his eyes as he came forehead to forehead with the older lad, still holding fiercely to the red-head's hand. Breathing deeply, he tried to think of what to say for a moment. But then he realized he didn't need to think. "Thank you, my little _Micool_." He whispered, a small smile crossing his lips. "Thank you for... being here."

Michael chuckled, scooting his body a little closer and breathing in the same air as his boi, closing his own eyes with the younger's hand held firmly in his own. "Anytime, Gavvy."

 


	9. Just what the fuck did he mean?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Michael is drooled on, a talk is had, and vodka is found under the bathroom sink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but it's something I did while at work - when working at a daycare and the kid you care for takes a 3 hours nap, there's nothing better you can do than write!
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter! It's nothing spectacular, but have at it!

Michael woke up warm. Very warm. And to the voice of Geoff Ramsey saying, “Well now, isn't this gay as fuck? Say _cheese_!” before a light flashed. The red-head groaned, pulling his beanie off from where it was haphazardly across his face. Why was he so fucking warm?

“ _Mmm_...”

Blinking open dark eyes, and realizing he also left his glasses on like the fucking moron he was, he looked down his front at the warm weight pressed there to find... Gavin. The British idiot had his head resting on Michael's shoulder, a puddle of drool (fucking gross) forming while he snored loudly. He was lying halfway across the older lad's chest, an arm thrown across it and his leg over one of Michael's. It took him a moment to also realize he had his arm around the younger lad's waist.

Sighing softly, the auburn-haired boy threw his head back onto the pillow. This would of course happen to him. It was nice. Almost too nice, actually, if you ignored the spot of drool left behind.

And with that thought, he shoved Gavin off the bed - who in turn landed on the floor with a loud squawk.

“ _Micool_!”

And Michael cackled.

* * *

“So, you knew this talk was going to happen.”

Geoff and Michael were currently in the kitchen as Geoff, being the oh-so-gracious host that he was, was preparing breakfast. At one in the afternoon. After Michael had pushed Gavin off of himself – and the bed, in turn – the Brit decided it was high-time to steal the mustached gents shower. Leaving them where they were now.

“I'm handling it, Geoff,” Michael murmured, leaning against the counter nearby as he watched the oldest gent make breakfast. Or lunch. Whatever it was at this point.

“Handling it?” Geoff scoffed, frowning heavily. “How can you possibly handle this? Last I checked, you weren't a psych major. Fuck, you're not even his roommate. How are you going to know when this shit happens?”

“I just know, dude.”

“There is no way to ' _just know_ ', asshole. You may think you know him, but you don't. Just because you're the one that brought him into our group doesn't mean you know him best. I fucking lived with that kid for three years, when he was going through a lot of shit at home. I was with him when he was covered head to toe in fucking cuts and bruises. So don't tell me you can handle this, because you can't always fucking know -”

“I'm his fucking soulmate, okay!” Michael nearly screamed, toning it down after a moment with realization that Gavin would be able to hear him. Turning to look back, he listened for the sound of the shower – thank fuck it was still running – before looking at Geoff, pulling up the sleeve of his long shirt. “You think I don't know what this is doing to him? Because I fucking damn well do – I know what it's doing to me, so I have a strange fucking idea on what it's doing to him.”

Geoff didn't say anything for a moment, keeping silent in contemplative thought while he flipped the bacon. Michael's outburst had an almost sobering effect on his rage. It seemed like a lifetime had passed before he finally spoke up. “Does he know?”

Michael snorted, moving to sit at the kitchen table. “Of course he doesn't fucking know. Geoff, you know how I feel about the soulmate bullshit. I've only been telling you since I fucking met you.”

“You've got to tell him at some point, kid.”

“I know that, thanks. I just... give me time. For now, I'm handling this. I just... I can't tell him now and let him think it's going to go somewhere when it isn't,” Michael said softly.

“But how do you know that it isn't going to go anywhere?” Geoff asked just as quietly, throwing the food onto plates. He carried them over to the table, handing one to Michael before sitting across from him. “You know anything could happen -”

“Exactly, dude. Anything could happen. And just because fate or life or whatever dictated that I'm supposed to be with him doesn't mean I have to follow it. I follow my own path,” the red head growled as he bit into his eggs. “This soulmate thing doesn't mean shit.”

Geoff sighed, shaking his head. “Just don't fucking hurt him. Or I'll have to kill you by tearing your dick off and shoving it down your throat.”

“Graphic,” Michael muttered. “And don't worry, he's not going to get hurt. He'll be fine.”

“Who will be fine?”

Michael started choking on his eggs at hearing Gavin, hoping that the British lad hadn't heard any of the previous conversation. That was exactly what he needed at this moment; Gavin overhearing everything and suddenly he was the asshole because he didn't want to follow the whole soulmate shit. Jesus fucking Christ.

“Hey, Gavvers!” Geoff chimed in, pushing the extra plate of food a bit to indicate that it was for the Brit. “Did you find the bandages and shit alright for that burn?”

“Uh...” Gavin trailed off, momentarily lost in thought as he took a seat between the two. He took a bite of toast, chewing thoughtfully before replying. “Yeah, I found them. Bloody hiding under the sink behind a bottle of vodka. I nearly looked around the entire gaff trying to find everything.”

“Why is there a bottle of vodka under the sink, Geoff?” Michael asked, raising an eyebrow.

Geoff just shook his head, shoveling down more eggs. “If I knew, dude, I'd tell you.”

* * *

It was later on that night, when they were all back on campus and Michael was procrastinating on homework, that the red-head really started thinking. His conversation with Geoff earlier came up and he blinked in confusion, trying to wrap his mind around it.

_'“I fucking lived with that kid for three years, when he was going through a lot of shit at home. I was with him when he was covered head to toe in fucking cuts and bruises.”'_

“Head to toe...” Michael trailed off, running his hand through his curls as he tried to think this through. There was no way that it could be true. Michael would remember a time when he was hurt that badly because of his 'soul-idiot'. He knew he would. So... “Just what did he mean by that?”

 


	10. I just want you to be happy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Gavin play Five Nights at Freddy's, cuddles are had, and Gavin fucks a duck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the super duper long delay, my loves. I've been really busy with work and holiday stuff and crocheting my ever-loving brains out (because that's just how I roll). Plus, life has gotten me a bit down and the most recent episode of TWD has killed me. So I've been in a bit of a writing funk. Thank you to everyone that has been following this from the beginning and thank you to anyone who joins from here on out. <3

“Ohh, Michael. I don't like this game.”

“I know, Gavvy.”

“I  _really_  don't like that duck.”

“I know, Gav.”

“Why are we playing this again?”

“Because Ray bet us fifty bucks that we couldn't get through one night.”

“And that's why we are recording it, too?”

“Yep.”

“...”

“...”

“...I  _still_  don't like this.”

* * *

They had been playing 'Five Nights at Freddy's' for over an hour so far and hadn't even gotten to three-am. At first they had tried switching off and on who played – it started with Michael, then went to Gavin – but that had failed when Gavin nearly broke the screen to Michael's computer. He ended up ripping the mouse out of it's socket at one point and flung it across the room. Needless to say that, after that, Michael took over playing.

“Where's the duck, Michael?  _Where is the bloody duck_?!” Gavin squeaked, clutching onto the back of Michael's chair.

“I don't know, I don't know!” Michael whimpered, reaching up briefly to adjust his glasses as he stared at the screen. “He's gotta be in the room with no camera. There is no fucking way he's anywhere else.”

“I'm scared, boi.”

“Fucking gravy bowl, where the fuck is the god damn rabbit?!”

"This is so much worse than Slender. Who comes up with this?!" The Brit had his eyes covered, trying to cower away from the computer screen while peeking through his fingers in the same instant.

Michael was currently at only 5% battery left, an hour left to go, and both doors closed with the stupid god-damned motherfucking duck missing. "I'm done. Stick a fork in me, I'm so fucking done. I'm past done. I'm toast - crispy fucking toast," he muttered to himself, going back and forth between the camera and the room while Gavin cowered behind him, sniffling.

"We are so done, Michael... We've completely bodged this. Freddy is going to finger us so badly!"

"I don't think that's actually what he does, asshole. I'm pretty sure this game would be considered fucking explicit if he did actually finger y-"

But Michael didn't get the chance to finish his sentence as the music box started to play in the background and Gavin made a high-pitched keening noise in the back of his throat, mumbling over and over that they were about to get fingered. It wasn't until the clock came up on the screen, announcing that they had made it through the night that Michael allowed himself to acknowledge the game at all.

" ** _We did it_**! We fucking  _did it_!" He screamed, throwing off his headset with a cheer before his hands went up in the air. He ignored the whooping from Gavin the background as he grabbed his phone, ready to text his Puerto Rican friend and brag. He could hear the Brit giggling gleefully to himself somewhere in the background as he started to rapidly type to Ray.

 

> _**Michael – November 19, 2014 @ 11:53pm:**  GUESS WHO MADE IT PAST 6AM, MOTHERFUCKER! You owe us 50 bucks!_
> 
> _**Ray – November 19, 2014 @ 11:55pm:**  You've gotta be kidding me. You? You and Gavin? What the fuck, how does that even work?_
> 
> _**Michael – November 19, 2014 @ 11:58pm:**  Because Team Nice Dynamite fucking wins, bitch! Pay up!_
> 
> _**Ray – November 20, 2014 @ 12:01am:**  Jesus Christ, you guys are actually sticking with that name? You are so gay._
> 
> _**Michael – November 20, 2014 @ 12:05am:**  Doesn't matter what we are, because we're now 50 bucks richer thanks to you, buddy boy!_
> 
> _**Ray – November 20, 2014 @ 12:07am:**  I hate you, you know that?_
> 
> _**Michael - November 20, 2014 @ 12:08am:**  Don't deny your total and utter love for me. Just bow down to my greatness._
> 
> _**Ray - November 20, 2014 @ 12:11am:**  Do I look like Gavin to you? Cause last I checked, the only one who had "total and utter love" for you was dumb, blond, and british. Totally not me._
> 
> _**Ray - November 20, 2014 @ 12:12am:**  Also, I wasn't aware you have now become the new mad king. No way in fuck am I bowing down to your greatness. I'll let Gavin handle the kneeling shit._
> 
> _**Michael - November 20, 2014 @ 12:16am:**  Fuck off. Just remember, it doesn't matter what you say: you owe me 50!_
> 
> _**Ray - November 20, 2014 @ 12:18am:**  Have I ever told you how much I hate you?_

The auburn-haired sophomore chuckled, shaking his head before turning to Gavin. "Dude, I can't believe we just won fifty-" He paused, raising an eyebrow at the scene in front of him. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

There was Gavin, asleep in his bed. The boy had apparently worn himself out completely and decided the best place to crash would be the older lad's bed. He was curled up against the wall, shirt riding up against tan skin. Michael just stared at him for a moment, taking in the sight of him sleeping there. He seemed even younger while he slept. The normal lines that marred his face – from laughing, from frowning, from just being Gavin – wore away.

That and he snored like a goddamned bear.

Sighing, Michael shook his head before checking his clock. There was no way in hell he was giving up his bed for Gavin. But at the same time, he knew how tired the freshman had been lately; he hadn't been sleeping well the past week, something to do with 'family problems' and school-work stress. He'd been the one receiving the late night text messages from the younger and replying dutifully. Even if it was preventing  _him_  from getting much sleep.

There was only one thing he could do.

Rolling his eyes at his own softness, he made sure to shut his computer down and plug his phone in, setting an alarm for ten - because fuck it, he was going to take a day to himself and he was making Gavin do the same - before placing his glasses on the bedside table. He leaned over the bed, poking the brit in the side in attempt to rouse him enough to get the comforter out from under his lanky form. Said British boy twitched repeatedly, whining high in his throat for ' _Micool_ ' to stop. But _Michael_ wasn't dealing with this at the moment. He was too damn tired. So instead of gently trying to get the covers out from underneath the sandy-haired lad, he decided the best course of action was to violently rip them out from underneath, causing the other to smack into the wall with a resulting cry.

" _Michael_! What was  _that_  for?"

The auburn-haired sophomore chuckled rather evilly, throwing the blanket back over the bed - and successfully covering Gavin entirely - before crawling under, elbowing his soul-idiot back on ' _his_ ' side. "Move over, moron. If you are going to steal  _my_  fucking bed, you're going to share."

Gavin pulled his head out from under the blanket, looking over to his friend. " _Micool_?"

Said boy snorted. "Don't overthink it, asshole. I'm just not cruel enough to shove you out of my bed when I know you haven't been sleeping. At all."

"It hasn't been  _that_  bad..." Gavin trailed off. "Has it?"

For a brief moment, Michael felt a spark of guilt. It hadn't been too bad, but it was getting to the point where the bags under his eyes, and most likely Gavin's too, were starting to become permanent. He had no idea what was really keeping the boy up at night - because he honestly didn't believe the whole ' _school stress_ ' thing he was using as an excuse - but he was going to figure it out. "No, Gavvy. But you need some sleep. And so do I. So we're skipping morning classes tomorrow and sleeping in. Burns can happily fuck off," Michael mumbled the last part as he pulled the blankets over the two of them, attempting to settle himself in while not being used to having a warm body next to him. He stopped for a moment, waiting for complaints that they couldn't miss class to grace his ears, but heard nothing. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"' _Well wot_?'" He mocked, raising an eyebrow as he turned to face Gavin. "I expected you to bitch that we couldn't  _not_  go to class or some bullshit like that."

Gavin shrugged, not meeting the older boy in the eyes as he spoke quietly. "Can't really complain, I guess. It's... nice. To not be alone, I guess."

Michael swore he almost felt his heart - as much as he liked to claim he didn't have one - shrivel up and die at his boi's words. Sometimes it was hard to really understand, and see, the deeper parts of Gavin. For all the happiness he seemed to have, sadness seemed to reign ten times over - even if you had to look hard to see it. The red-haired boy just wished he could really understand what made the other tick. What made him so sad, so lonely, that he felt he had to be alone. That he had to hurt himself.

Shaking his head, he reached for the younger, pulling him close to his chest. It was strange, a little awkward, but comforting all the same. Almost natural. After all, this wasn't the first time they had ever cuddled. He didn't even have to think about his actions as he curled himself around the taller lad. Michael felt Gavin nearly instantly relax into him, his arm that wasn't currently trapped between them going around the older boy's waist. Everything was silent for a moment (or as silent as you could get in a college dorm). Then Gavin spoke up.

"Michael?"

"Hm?" He hummed into Gavin's hair, feeling the soft strands tickle his face as the younger breathed softly against his neck.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Just..." he paused, as if trying to think of the right way to phrase his words. "Just _this_. Being here. Letting me stay. I don't understand it."

Michael had to put some serious thought into what he was going to say - after all, he didn't really think blurting out "because you're my fucking soulmate" would be the best choice of words at the moment - before he spoke quietly, simply saying: "Because I care about you. You're my boi, Gav."

Gavin nodded, seeming to take this answer in, as simple as it was. "I care about you too, Michael. You're... You're my boi," he murmured, pulling back slightly to look up at Michael with sea-glass eyes. "You're my best friend."

The auburn-haired lad felt his heart flip-flop uncomfortably as deep brown eyes took in the younger in the little light provided from the street lamp outside his window. He couldn't understand why the words 'best friend' made his heart almost drop. After all, he wasn't in love with Gavin. This whole soulmate business was just a crock. A load of bullshit.

But fucking hell was he ever starting to really believe in some of it.

Their relationship had been changing slightly as of late. Going from strangers to acquaintances, acquaintances to friends, friends to best friends and now... what? Michael didn't want to admit anything -- still wanted to try to keep Gavin at arms length. But he was failing. It wasn't from a lack of trying, either. It was just... well, even he didn't know.

It seemed in the millisecond that he was thinking to himself, Gavin had moved closer, his face now only inches from the freckled-lad. Michael felt his cheeks flush a bit as he breathed in the same air that the younger breathed out, his eyes moving to his lips subconsciously before moving back up to his eyes. He spoke softly. "I just want you to be okay."

"But... I _am_ okay, Michael."

" _No_ , Gavin," he shook his head, hand reaching up to softly entangle in sandy locks. "I don't mean just now. I mean... always. All the time. Because you deserve. You of all people." This soft, sweet, gentle boy who couldn't hurt a fly deserved a soulmate who would actually love him. Something Michael just felt he wasn't cut out for. "I just want you to be happy."

"I'm happy right now, Michael," the brit whispered, almost subconsciously moving forward, his forehead meeting Michael's.

The older lad realized if he tilted his chin up just the slightest and turned his face just the right way, their lips would just barely touch. Something that he wanted. Something that he didn't want. Something that he feared. It was uncharted territory, a place completely unknown to them that would inevitably change their friendship forever, for better or worse. He really wanted to try and explore that place.

Just as he started to tilt his head at just the right angle to kiss him, a loud buzzing sound rang throughout the entire building.

" _Fuck a duck_!" Gavin screeched, pulling back to look up at the flashing white light in the room. "Who decided it was a bloody brilliant time to pull the fire alarm?!"

Michael sighed, shaking his head as he rolled out of the warm bed. "Come on, moron," he said as quietly as he could over the alarms, his entire demeanor deflating and reflecting his go-to mood: anger. Grabbing one of his hoodies from his floor, he pulled it over his head quickly before reaching for the one he wore earlier and tossing it at Gavin. It was getting colder and he knew they wouldn't have enough time to get something warm for him from his own room. "Let's get outside before Res Life comes pounding in here and writing us up."

And just like that, the moment was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... who hates me now?
> 
> <3


	11. Just... I'm sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the rain pours, a fight ensues, Gavin runs off, and Michael talks with Lindsay to finally understand himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, funny story. I'm currently writing this from my SO's computer (a desktop that is missing the 'L' button with an awkward keyboard) because my charger to my mac decided to literally try to electrocute me and snap off. As in the little part that connects to my computer tore right off. Fun, huh? So, now I have to wait for a new one when I eventually decide to order it.
> 
> That and Dragon Age Inquisition has been taking over my entire life since X-mas day.
> 
> Sorrynotsorry.

The moment, which was ruined courtesy of the fire alarm blaring in their eardrums, was even more so lost as the two lads made their way down the stairs to the first floor of their dorm building. They had just made it to the bottom of the stairs on the ground floor when Gavin decided he wanted to meet the floor in a more personal way.

"Jesus _Christ_!"

"Fucking _hell_ , Gavin!" Michael shouted in return, feeling his face hit the concrete as the British moron known as his soul mate tripped over his own two huge feet - though they would never be as large as his nose - and right into the unsuspecting Michael, sending the auburn-haired flying into the brick wall adjacent to the stairwell. He could feel his cheek slam hard against it, leaving no doubt in his mind that he would later end up bruised.

Meaning Gavin would also feel it.

Oh, Karma. How much you are loved and hated all in the same instant.

"Bloody hell, I didn't even hit my face that hard!" Gavin cried out, pulling his face from where it had been implanted into Michael's back, rubbing his own cheek with a wince. "Or did I? Did I lose brain cells from that fall?"

"You'd have to _have_ brain cells to _lose_ them, you idiot," Michael snapped, dragging himself off the floor and heading towards the doors leading to the exit - ignoring the stares and snickers from other students as they passed by.

" _Micool_!" Gavin stammered, stumbling after the older lad in a hurry. "I-I'm sorry. I just tripped."

The auburn-haired lad sighed, shaking his head as he grabbed Gavin by the sleeve and continued to drag him outside with him. "I know, calm your tits. I'm not mad. I just want to get outside before they send the fire squad in here or whatever the fuck they plan to do."

Gavin pouted, pulling his hood over his head as finally got to the courtyard, rain steadily falling overhead. "...I don't have tits, you nob."

" _Argh_ ," Michael growled, ignoring Gavin entirely. He let go of the other's arm to pull his own hood up to cover his face. "And of _course_ it's fucking raining. Who was the dickwad that decided it was the perfect time for a fire alarm?"

"Hey, assholes!"

The two turned in unison as Ray popped up out of nowhere, wearing a hoodie like the other two and a pair of... Mario pajama pants?

"Ray, what the fuck are you wearing?" Michael snorted out in laughter, trying not to crack up as much as he clearly wanted to.

"Dude, don't judge the gear. Not only are they comfortable, but they are classic. You can't go wrong with Mario."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever floats your fucking boat, man."

"At least he's warmer then us, Micool," the Brit piped in.

Ray nodded. "He's got a point, **_Micool_**. I am definitely _way_ warmer than you two - wait a minute." The dark-haired lad paused, squinting his eyes as he stared at Gavin intently. "Michael. Isn't that your hoodie?"

"Uhhh..." Michael trailed off just as Gavin said, "Well, I mean..."

"Dude!" Ray exclaimed, excitedly pointing at them. "That _is_ your hoodie. I knew it. I fucking _knew it._ You two are totally fucking, aren't you?"

"What? No!" Michael growled, jumping in before Gavin could say anything. Or before Ray could open his big mouth about them being soul mates. He gave him a slow, almost menacing look, trying to figure out where Ray was coming from and what he was playing at. Was he really trying to fucking spill? "Get off the weed, dude. Just because he's borrowing my shit doesn't automatically mean we're actually boning each other."

"Oh ho ho, but it's not _just_ the hoodie. I've seen the way you guys are always around each other," Ray gleefully said, giving Michael a look. It was a sly, almost smug-like look that he didn't really like the idea of.

Michael narrowed his eyes, only remembering now that he forgot his glasses as he practically glared the youngest lad down. Seriously, what the fuck was he thinking? "Dude, he's one of my _best friends_. One of _our_ best friends. You don't see me accusing you of screwing around with him or shit like that."

Ray chuckled. "Yeah, but you don't see him borrowing any of my clothes."

"Uh, Ray. Maybe we should just drop this. Michael seems a bit... cheesed off," Gavin quietly put his two cents in, not really sure what to do about the situation at hand. He was ignored in favor of the two continuing their arguing.

"What was that about cheese?" Ryan suddenly joined the conversation, coming in to stand next to Gavin as he watched the other two lads argue. "And, uh... What am I missing here?"

"Honestly, I'm really not sure. Some sort of tosh about Michael shagging one another." Gavin shrugged, adjusting his hood before looking up at Ryan. "What are you guys doing here anyways?"

"Apparently it's an Achievement Courtyard fire alarm thing, so our building got hit, too," the older gamer replied, before staring down at the Brit with mild curiosity as he ignored the other two going at it in the background. "And you lost me after _tosh_. The only reason I know the word 'shag' is because of Austin Powers."

"You _donut_ , how have you not heard tosh befo-"

"Dude, come on. No need to hide it - no one is going to judge you or some shit like that," Ray spoke a little louder as Michael clearly looked like he was about to punch him in the face.

"There is absolutely  _nothing_ to hide, you fucking asshole!" Michael fumed, angrily reaching up to brush water out of his eyes as the rain came down a little harder. Just when the fuck was this fire drill or whatever going to end so that he could get back up to his room in peace? At this rate, Ray was definitely going to say things that really shouldn't be said.

Ray shook his head, snorting as he continued to look smugly on at Michael. "Obviously there _is_ if you are trying so hard to cover it up-"

" _It's not like that!_ He's nothing to me. _We_ are **_nothing_**! He's just a fucking _idiot_ who hurts himself that I feel fucking bad for-" Michael stopped mid-sentence, eyes going wide as his brain finally caught up with his mouth. It wasn't true. None of it was. He just... he was so angry at the entire situation and he was so tired and he just wanted to sleep. Open mouth, insert foot was really the only way to describe it. Michael could only hope that he wasn't loud enough for Gavin to hear. Ignoring the shocked look on Ray's face, he twisted his head to search out the Brit.

The devastation clear on his face was all the answer he needed. Gavin's eyes were especially large, seeming to take up his entire face as his skin slowly drained of all color minus the red building up high on his cheeks. His mouth hung open slightly as he stared at Michael for a brief moment before shaking his head and backing away, about-facing when Michael started to move closer and walking away.

"Gavin-"

"Sod off."

"Gav, _please_!"

Gavin turned to face the older lad briefly, sea-glass eyes shining even in the dark. "Piss _off_ , Michael!" And with that said, he walked away.

The three just stood there at a loss, none really sure what happened or how it lead to this. Ryan shook his head before speaking softly. "I'll follow him... I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be too happy seeing either of you right now," he trailed off, shaking his head as he turned and jogged to catch up with the foreign lad.

Silence reigned between the two friends as the rain poured down around them. It was Ray who spoke first, disrupting the quiet tension.

"I'm sorry, Michael," the dark-haired lad quietly mumbled, reaching a hand up to run his hand over his head underneath his hood. "I just thought... I thought if I pushed it along. If I got you angry enough, you would finally admit that you guys were... ya know."

"Yeah, well, look how well that clearly fucking worked out. We aren't anything, Ray. What if something happens? Huh? What if he does something fucking stupid-"

"Then you'll know, because you are his _soul mate_! But dude... if he knew, _maybe_ he wouldn't do it. _Maybe_ he'd stop cutting. This shouldn't rest all on you. Everyone can see how tired you are, how much you aren't sleeping trying to keep him alive. Just tell him."

" ** _No_**!" Michael yelled, ignoring the people still around him as his rage took hold. "Things were fucking fine before you decided to play God in this. He was getting better - he doesn't need to fucking know that he is my... my whatever. He doesn't. It doesn't involve him."

Ray sputtered, giving the auburn-haired boy an incredulous look. " _Doesn't **involve** him_? Dude, he is the other half of bread in this fucked up sandwich you two have going on. Of course it involves him. It has everything to do with him. Are you even listening to yourself? Just because you don't want to admit you actually are starting to _fall for him_ \- or admit that he is your fucking soul mate? That's on _you_. Not him."

Michael was interrupted from replying as the RA for his building announced to the students waiting in the courtyard that it was time to head back inside. He stared at the direction of his building for a moment before turning back to Ray, who just shook his head and sighed in frustration.

"Give him time, dude. He'll get over this. And then you two can go back to being nothing but friends or whatever you are," Ray solemnly said. "I am sorry for what happened. But I'm _not_ sorry I said anything. I just didn't think it would get that far."

Michael shook his head, glaring at the Puerto Rican before turning away to head back inside. "Fuck you, Ray."

* * *

Storming into his room without even bothering the turn the lights on - after having to searching through his shorts for his goddamn keys since the fucking RA locked the door after checking the room - Michael ripped his hoodie off and tossed it across the room before flopping onto his bed with a groan. It was hard to believe that less than an hour ago he had been in this very same bed, snuggling up with his bed friend and about to actually... kiss him. Now? _Now_ they were back to square one, minus the cutting and adding Gavin's anger to the equation. It was something that didn't sit well in his stomach. He really didn't want Gavin to be angry, or upset for that matter, with him. He just... opened his mouth without thinking. He tried to convince himself that if Ray hadn't opened his mouth that everything would be fine. But even he knew it wasn't true.

Sitting up with a sigh, he rubbed at his eyes furiously as he tried to ignore the heat building up behind his eyes. He needed to talk to someone about this. Someone who understood, at least to some degree. Or someone who could talk him through it without pissing him off. Reaching over the side of his bed, he opted for his laptop instead of his desktop - deciding that fuck this, if he was going to having a heart to heart, he was going to be comfortable while doing so. Pulling up the home-screen after typing in his password, he clicked on the Skype icon and waited for it to load up. Not even a minute later, his list of contacts popped up in front of his eyes. Searching through, he looked for the one person he wanted to talk to.

Only to find that they weren't online.

Growling in frustration, Michael resisted the urge to whip the laptop out the window and instead pulled out his phone, sending out a quick text.

> **Michael - November 20, 2014 @ 1:45am:** _You awake, Linds?_

He waited for a few minutes, browsing through old text on his phone before it buzzed in his hand.

> **Lindsay - November 20, 2014 @ 1:49am:** _This better be good, Jones. Or an emergency. Like someone is dead._
> 
> **Michael - November 20, 2014 @ 1:50am:** _I just really need to talk to you. Can you get on Skype?_
> 
> **Lindsay - November 20, 2014 @ 1:52am:** _Omg, I was only kidding about the dead thing. Who is dead???_
> 
> **Michael - November 20, 2014 @ 1:54am:** _No one, just get on. Please._

He waited a moment for a reply, half expecting not to get one when all of a sudden he had a video call notification coming in. Quickly hitting the accept button, he waited the five seconds it took for Lindsay's face to load up in the middle of the screen.

"Hey."

"Don't ' _Hey_ ' me, Michael Jones," Lindsay hissed, eyes narrowing through the screen as she looked on at Michael. "You text me at almost two in the morning and make me think someone is fucking dead. That is so not fair."

"I know, I know," Michael sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "I'm sorry. Just... some shit went down tonight and I needed to talk to someone."

A moment of silence went by as Michael tried to think of the words while Lindsay stared at him in the dark. When nearly two minutes had passed, she finally spoke up.

"Well? Are you going to tell me or are we going to just sit here with you looking at my pretty face all night? Because if that's the case, I'm going back to sleep."

"No!" Michael shouted, shaking his head quickly. "I just... I'm trying to think of how to fuck to talk about this."

Lindsay gave him a half grin, placing her chin on her hand as she watched him. "How about starting from the beginning?"

So he did.  Michael told her about everything that had been happening lately - everything that involved Gavin. The late night meetings, the snuggles, the near kiss, the fighting, everything. Once he started, the word vomit continued to spew and spread like a disease. Almost a half hour later, he finally ended his story with "...And now he's really fucking angry at me. Not that I blame him or anything, but..." He paused for a moment, before sighing for the eighty billionth time that night. "What do I do?"

Sitting there for a moment, the green-eyed girl thoughtfully stared at her friend before saying simply, "Talk to him."

"Talk to him?"

" _Talk. To. Him_ ," she enunciated slowly. "It's not like he's going to eat you. And it's obvious how much you two like each other-"

"But I don't like him like that," he interrupted, trying to ignore the look she gave him as he stammered over his words. "W-what? I don't!"

"Michael. Don't bullshit me. I've known you most of my life. I know you better than you know yourself. Come on," she said gently, still smiling softly. "Think about it for a second."

Sighing, Michael placed his head in his hands. "It's just not that easy, Lindsay. There is so much more to it than just liking Gav - then all of this. It's long and it's complicated and it's involved and-"

"And at this point, you are just making excuses. I'm not expecting you to go declare your undying love for him, because it's certainly not to that point. But don't ignore the feelings that are there. Just really, really think it over. Long and hard. Like your dick when you think of him late at night!"

Michael snorted loudly at that, half-expecting that to have been his tired mind making it up while the other half knew it was completely Lindsay. "You sound like fucking Ray. He keeps saying he's 'Team Mavin' all the way. The asshole made a shipping name out of us. Like that fucking fanfiction shit you read."

" _Hey_!" She cried out, mock frowning. "Don't dis the fic, asshole. It's better than your shit love-life any day."

Michael smirked, shaking his head. "You're probably right."

She grinned brightly at him, nodding in agreement. "I'm always right! Now, are you feeling better? Because if you are, I would totally love to go back to bed. It's almost three in the morning and I'm going to die if I don't sleep soon."

"Yeah, Linds. Thanks for... well, you know."

"I know, sweetie. Just don't forget - I'm here, too. At earlier hours of the day."

He chuckled slightly, giving her a small smile back. "I'll try. G'night, Lindsay."

"Night, Michael."

And with that, he ended the conversation. He did feel a bit better after talking to her. It was different than talking to Ray or even Geoff about the shit going on. It was a warmer feeling. Almost maternal. Something he needed, as he definitely couldn't tell his mother about this shit. She would be too busy fawning over the fact that he finally has a soul mate to really understand the current problems in it.

Shutting down his laptop, he placed it on the rug next to his bed before grabbing his phone and shooting out a quick message to Gavin.

> **Michael – November 20, 2014 @ 2:41am** : _I'm sorry, Gavin. I didn't mean it like it sounded. Just... I'm sorry. Please, just let me explain._

Plugging his phone in and setting it on his bedside table, he really wasn't expecting to get a reply of any sort as he settled himself in for the night. He figured he'd have to track down the Brit at some point tomorrow and forcefully drag him somewhere private to talk to him. There would be yelling, probably crying, and then hopefully they could sort this out. He still wasn't completely ready to let Gavin know about the sou mate issue, but he was definitely sorta kinda ready to work out their feelings. Because they were obviously there and they were even more obviously not going to go away anytime soon.

Curling-up against the wall, he could still faintly smell Gavin's shampoo in his pillow and he let himself be lulled into a resting state by it.

Until his phone started buzzing violently on the wooden table.

Blinking open dark eyes, Michael reached for it - hoping against hope that it would be Gavin texting him back. Checking the ID, he felt his stomach flip as he realized it wasn't a text from Gavin, but a call from Ray. He almost ignored it. _Almost_ hit the reject button so that he could go back to trying to sleep. But instead, out of pure curiosity, he answered it.

"What is it, asshole? I was almost asle-"

_"Gavin is **missing**!"_

Michael felt his heart freeze before it fell like a stone into the bottom of his belly.

_**No**_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I welcome the flaming hate mail with open arms.


	12. I don't want to wake up on my own anymore...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin runs and tries to wrap his mind around everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note in regards to the school: I based this university off of one that is real in Austin, TX: Concordia University Texas. It's a private college (less than 2,500 students) surrounded by wooded area with a lake/pond nearby and it "has wetlands, caves, dense trees, and wildlife", to quote the wiki page. While this isn't a dead on for that uni, as I have never been there, the school in my story is loosely based off of it (because there clearly is no "Achievement Courtyard", as awesome as that would be). I went to private university myself, so the small classrooms as well as the small dorm buildings is based off my own experience. Hope that helps anyone with confusion as to why there is a random forest there -- since it's actually not all that random! :D

The rain had started to pour even harder as Gavin ran from his friends.

Well, if that's what he could even call them anymore.

It wasn't that he was trying to be overdramatic. It's just that he didn't want anyone finding out about his _'dirty little secret'_ , as his family - or more specifically his father - liked to call it. It didn't matter that it made him feel better to some degree. Hell, it didn't even bloody _matter_ that he couldn't control it sometimes. It just mattered most that it _tainted_ the family name. It made his father look bad to have to send his oldest son to a shrink for something as _'bloody retarded as making pity marks'_ on his skin. Most of the time, if he was lucky, his father pretended he didn't even have an older son. It was just easier to have one less fuck-up on hand when it came to company parties where the fam was involved.

Even if his father was the start of it all...

Shaking his head, Gavin resisted the urge to let loose a coughing fit as he made his way into the wooded area surrounded the campus. He didn't know where he was going, had no set destination in mind, but knew he had to get away. Even if it was only for a little while - a few hours to buy him some time to cool down. And not just literally. He needed to think everything through.

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his - _Michael's_ \- hoodie, he frowned deeply as the cold rain beat relentlessly on him. He just... couldn't wrap his brain around the auburn haired lad. How he just suddenly appeared in his life in a fit of rage quits and bevs and late night talks; like they had been bois for years. Like they were just... meant to be something more. But even so, Gavin wasn't dumb enough to think it so. Pulling his cold fingers out of the sweatshirt, he dug the palms of both his hangs into his eyes, almost as if he were trying to rub away the emotion building up there. He wanted it to be him. _Had_ wanted it to be Michael so bad it was almost painful.

He just... he _loved_ his little boi so, _so_ much. And now? Now he was just so _angry_ at him. If the one person who he thought understood him just used him as his good deed for the day, then... where did that leave him?

He whined rather pitifully in the back of his throat, pulling his hands from his face and sniffing quietly. It was _stupid_. The attachment he had to the American lad after such a short of time was horribly dumb. But it was there. He was almost instantly drawn to him the moment he met him. That day when he saved his ass in class from Burns. It was like an instant spark, something formed far beneath the surface that took only months to build up into something more. Something he wanted badly.

Jesus Christ, he wanted it to be so badly.

Feeling his left arm twitched, he resisted the urge - that _urge_ that always, _always_ came at the wrong time - to find something, anything to use to gouge at his skin with. His _dirty little secret_... Something that was still just as filthy, but no longer as secret. Because really, while he didn't want the others to know, he did feel bad on the way he ran off from Ryan who only seemed legitimately concerned. Mad King he may be, but he did care -- even if he liked to pretend it was all for science or whatever. But he had no desire to face him. No wish to see that look of pity in his eyes. Because while he knew that Ryan may have understood - in his own deranged way - Gavin also knew there was always _pity_ to be found.

Sighing, Gavin finally grew tired of the constant moving. Searching around the area, noticing he was near the small lake deep into the wooded land, he found a sizeable dip in the rocks; some sort of cavity. It was easily big enough for a few people height-wise, even if the depth wasn't something to write home about. Shrugging to himself, he pulled himself up the side of the foundation - thankful that it was only a few feet high - before dragging himself inside of it. While it wasn't all that warmer inside, it was certainly less damp. It would keep him generally comfortable while he worked through everything swirling around in his brain. Leaning his head back against the cold stone, he closed his eyes as he tried to relax for just a few minutes...

Only to be interrupted by his phone going off _loudly_ in his pocket.

Jumping from the sudden crying noise, he blinked owlishly for a moment before pulling the device from it's hidden spot. Ignoring the fact that he had over ten missed calls, sixteen text messages, and four voicemails from Ryan and Ray, he felt his eyes widen before narrowing at the newest message.

> **Michael – November 20, 2014 @ 2:41am** : _I'm sorry, Gavin. I didn't mean it like it sounded. Just... I'm sorry. Please, just let me explain._

Feeling his eyes prick again at the message from Michael, Gavin had to resist the urge to throw his phone. He wanted nothing to do with _Michael_ at that moment - and yet everything at the same time. Digging the nails of his free hand into his other wrist hard enough to draw blood, he clenched his phone tightly as he let out a hiss of pain. This isn't what he wanted. _Not right now_. If he were going to actually do it, it would be on his terms.

If he was going to **_die_** , he would do it somewhere _warm_ , _safe_ , and _comfortable_. Not out in the dark, miserable and cold.

Ignoring the bloody scratches along the underside of his wrist, he set his phone on silent before browsing through his music collection. He needed something to drown out the howling wind while he stayed there and at the moment, he didn't really care what. Shuffling through his songs, he nearly laughed aloud at the song it landed on, finding it strangely fitting. He hit the repeat button, setting his iPhone down between himself and the wall as he curled up against the damp surface with a shudder, trying to ignore the warm liquid that had started to slowly drip from sea-glass eyes as he hummed off-key to the song, slowly drifting off into a fitful rest.

_'Sing me to sleep_  
_Sing me to sleep_  
_And then leave me alone_  
_Don't try to wake me in the morning_  
_'Cause I will be gone_  
_Don't feel bad for me_  
_I want you to know_  
_Deep in the cell of my heart_  
_I will feel so glad to go_  
_Sing me to sleep_  
_Sing me to sleep_  
_I don't want to wake up_  
_On my own anymore...'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnd I almost lost this chapter six times while writing it on my step-mom's ancient computer while I wait for my charger to come in. So I hope you enjoy this little tid-bit from Gavin's POV. Or whatever, lawl. Anyways, the song at the end is "Asleep" by Emily Browning from the Sucker Punch album. Seriously, this song fits my Gavin so well that it's almost like it was written for him. Go listen. Now! Go! Expect a longer chapter soon~


	13. Even if no one else wants you... I do.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's raining, it's pouring, and Gavin is alone. Michael is pissed, Ray is pissed, and Ryan is annoyed. Let the search commence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, sooooo sorry for ridiculously long wait on this chapter. Between moving between states, starting a new job, and just overall life hecticness, this chapter has been a project and a half to get out. I've had about 50% of it done since January, but then hit a brick wall. With my face. And then I've been slowly adding to it as I go. So, if this is super shitty, I really do apologize. I had to edit it literally at least 16 times because of errors done in a rush and just overall shitty writing. sdkfhnadksfds.

Michael wasn't the type of guy to worry. It just wasn't part of his M.O. He would rage, get drunk stupid, and then laugh it off later, but he didn't let things bother him too much. When it came between choosing to just be pissed or worried, he would choose the former any day. It felt more natural to just let things slide. Or to get angry.

Well, until he met the idiot formally known as his soulmate.

“What the _fuck_ do you mean he's _**missing**_?!” Michael shouted into his phone, feeling his blood run cold as he shot up in bed. He reached over towards his bedside table, frantically patting it for his glasses as he stumbled out of bed, attempting to not trip over the covers in his rush.

“ _I mean he's_ _ **gone**_ _, dude! He was with Ryan, they got in an argument, and he ran!_ ” Ray's voice came in through the phone loudly, overriding the rain that was still obviously pouring in the background. There was the faint pounding of feet sounding in the distance. “ _We've been looking for him for a half-hour. He's just gone!_ ”

“ _He's not over by the store._ ” Michael heard another voice in the background, thinking that it was most likely Ryan.

“ _ **Shit**_.”

The auburn-haired lad growled, attempting to not fall onto his face as he reached for the light switch. “Where the fuck are you?”

“ _We're by the woods near the cafeteria._ ”

“I'll be there in five.”

He didn't wait for a response as he hung up his phone, shoving it into the pocket of his basketball shorts before quickly tossing on his hoodie that was previously discarded on the floor. Searching around briefly, he shoved them on sock less. Making sure to grab his keys, he didn't even bother to turn the lights off in his room before running out the door. If this idiot was going to play a game of hide and seek, he was going to lose.

Michael had always been a fucking pro at seeking.  


* * *

“About fucking time you got here,” Ryan grunted as Michael came up behind him, hood pulled up as he searched around the side of the building in all nooks-and-crannies for their British friend. It was clear he had been out there for sometime, given how soaked the fabric of his jacket was. The sandy-haired gent turned to his younger friend. “You know him better than either of us. He could be fucking dead at this point.”

“He's _not_ dead, trust me – I think that's something I would know, asshole,” Michael growled, something that seemed to becoming a new habit for him. Shoving wet curls off his face, he adjusted his hood with a fierce tug. Not only was it fucking cold, but it was fucking wet. Two of the worst combos. Ever. “What the fuck happened?”

Ryan shook his head, straightening up to his full height to tower over Michael slightly. “I caught up to him. _Tried_ to talk him down from being upset. Told him it was just something stupid – that you didn't mean to sound like a total _fuckhead_ – and that he should just talk to you. He got upset, started saying shit about you being just like him, whoever the fuck _him_ is, before he started to mumble to himself in Italian. I couldn't get a word in edgewise before the ass-hat ran. I chased him for a few but he's a slippery bastard. Lost him near the library.”

“Gavin knows _Italian_?” Michael questioned before groaning, rubbing at his face with wet hands as he shook his head. “Never mind that. This is all so much fucking bullshit.”

Ray snorted, chiming in with a “You're telling me, dude.”

“You shut up,” Michael spat out, turning to the Puerto Rican with a fierce glare. He had honestly completely forgotten that Ray was here. Didn't help that the jackass was skulking around in the shadows. “If _you_ hadn't fucking said anything, then we wouldn't even be in this situation.”

Ray barked out a harsh laugh. “Yeah? Well if _you_ weren't constantly leading him on-”

“Leading him on, since when the fuck was I leading him on?”

“You've been leading him on the entire time, asshole! You said it yourself; you don't want a relationship with him.”

The red-head nearly screamed in frustration, emitting a deep vocal sound loudly in anger instead. “That's not what I said, you fucking moron, I said I don't want a relationship based off of fucking soulmate shit-”

“Well look what's going on now! You're in one and it's happening. It's exactly what you didn't want but it's fucking happening!”

“Ray, I'm gonna fucking-”

“Enough!” Ryan finally spoke up, shoving the two away from each other before someone got injured. “I'm ending this shit right the fuck now. It's done, it's over. Ray, stop egging him on – it's his and Gavin's business and not yours. Let it go.” He turned towards Michael, pointing at him. “And you take that smirk off your face. You are no better right now. Get your head out of your ass and figure out what you want with him, because this is getting dragged on too fucking long. Work it out now before someone ends up seriously hurt – or worse.”

And with that said, he walked away.

Ray and Michael stared at his retreating back, neither of them saying a word to one another for a moment. It was the awkward, tense silence permitting the area – as well as the brief sound of thunder – that finally got Michael to talk.

“Okay, so maybe I was a dick for not telling him. Fuck, I'm probably still one now. But that _doesn't_ mean I don't fucking care about him,” Michael mumbled, moving forward towards the wooded area to continue the search. He quietly said to himself, “I probably care about him more than anyone else.”

“ _Michael_!”

The older lad turned back, pushing back damp curls. “What is it?”

“Well...” there was a brief pause. The anger just seemed to have fizzled out of him. “I'm sorry. Alright? I'm _really_ sorry.”

Even though Michael rationally knew that Ray wasn't completely to blame – after all, the words had come out of _his_ mouth – he still couldn't gather the will to say anything back in reply. Instead he just nodded towards the younger lad before trekking his way back into the trees. He had an idea where Gavin could be.

* * *

“Of all times for it to go and fucking rain. Of all god damned nights,” Michael mumbled miserably, wandering through the marsh area in search of his friend. During the day, it was a nice place to be. When it was dry and the sun was shining. Not when it was pouring fucking cats and dogs and making it impossible to see. But his best chance would be by the lake. He'd only been there a few times with Gavin and the others, but he knew that when Gavin was in one of his moods and he didn't want to bother Michael – as much as that pissed the red-head off – he would walk around the area and just relax as best as he could away from all the stress and drama of classes and family issues.

Lately, Gavin had been having an even harder time dealing with his parents than he let on. He wasn't really saying anything to the rest of the guys about it – _fuck_ , he wasn't even saying much to _Michael_ – but the red-head knew that his father had been reaming him a new one lately. He caught the ass-end of a conversation at one point where he could a deep, british voice saying something along the lines of _'worthless shit'_ before Michael blatantly called to Gavin to get his ass back to lunch.

That had been fun to do as they were walking to class _after_ lunch.

If Michael were stupid, he wouldn't be able to see the way Gavin looked after he spoke to his father. He wouldn't be able to see the way the lad visibly sagged after calls with his family. Wouldn't be able to understand why he always got so upset – in a not normal 'I miss my family' way – after Skype calls with the rents. But Michael _wasn't_ stupid, nor was he blind. He had tried to confront Geoff on it, knowing the older man knew something, but he just claimed it wasn't up to him.

“ _Come **on** , Geoff. There's something going on and I want to know what the fuck it is.”_

“ _I have no idea what you are talking about-”_

“ _The fuck you don't! Just tell me!”_

“ _It's not my place to tell. Sorry, dude. You'll just have to wait for Gavin to grow some balls and speak up.”_

“Grow some balls my left ass-cheek,” Michael griped to himself, stepping carefully over a fallen tree trunk that had rotted out sometime ago. He knew Geoff was just being a lying _douche-nozzle_ who wanted to keep the information to himself. There was something going on and he was damn determined to figure it out.

As he continued his trek to the lake, getting ever closer to the body of water, he heard a faint noise in the distance. Straining his ears, he tried to focus on the sound. It sounded almost like...

“ _Music_?” He questioned, blinking as the rain still continued to fall harshly overhead. The noise was slowly, but surely, getting louder. It sounded almost like a lullaby of sorts. It took him a few more seconds of listening to realize the song was something from that stupid movie Gavin liked so much.

“Fucking figures of all things-” Michael stopped mid-sentence, freezing as he saw a slight glow in the distance. It almost looked like it was floating. It wasn't until he got a bit closer that he realized it was sitting on the side of a rock crag, happily playing along. Hesitantly making his way forward, it took him another moment to realize that the sound was coming from the glowing light.

A phone.

_Gavin's_ phone.

“ ** _Gavin_**!” Michael screamed, scrambling towards the side of rock-slab. He tripped over up-turned roots and rocks, hurrying to see if it was really the Brit. As he got closer, he immediately noticed a figure in the cave like crevice. “Gavin!”

The sandy-haired lad was unresponsive to his visitor, breathing deeply – if not with a harsh raspiness – in his sleep. Figures that if anyone could get sick from being out in the cold for three hours, it would be him. Even if he claimed to Michael that he never got sick. He was curled up in a ball, his back slightly exposed to the elements as he slept fitfully on. Michael reached out a slightly shaky palm, resting his fingertips against cool, bare skin. He still couldn't believe he had found him. His mind was absolutely blank as he stood there, drinking in the sight of his missing soulmate.

_He was okay._

Sighing deeply in relief, he shook his head to try and get his thoughts back in order before hauling himself up the side of the stone, crawling into the small space. Pulling out his phone, he sent a quick text to Ray and Ryan saying that their idiot was found before shoving the device back into his pocket. He picked up Gavin's phone, fumbling with it for a moment to put the passcode in – _what moron actually uses ' **1234** ' as a password?_ \- and turn off the music. Placing it back on the rock, he reached to gently try to shake the Brit awake. The raspy breathing was a great indicator of the direction his health would be going in the next few days and Michael didn't want to make it even worse with prolonged exposure.

“Gavin,” Michael whispered, pushing the Gavin's damp shoulder gently. “Gavvy-boi, come on. It's time to get up. We gotta go home.”

Gavin murmured in his sleep, something clearly not in English, balling up tighter and closer to the inner wall. Resisting the urge to slap him awake, the Jersey lad shook him a bit harder. It only took another minute or so before Gavin was mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like 'five more minutes, mum' before turning over slightly and opening his eyes in slits

And immediately cursing and slamming those same sea-glass eyes shut again at the sight of Michael.

“Go away, _Michael_ ,” Gavin groaned, attempting to turn back over.

Michael didn't give him the chance to have that option, grasping his shoulders tightly. “No, I'm not going away. We _need_ to go. The weather is really shit and you're obviously not feeling good-”

“Why do you care?”

Michael paused, blinking in shock. “Huh?”

Sitting up and turning to face Michael, it was almost as if he had never been asleep. His eyes were bright in the darkness, illuminated as the lightning flashed behind them. They also had a bit of a glossy sheen to them, though he couldn't pin the reason on as to why. He didn't get much time to ponder it as Gavin started speaking again. “Why do you care? Didn't you... didn't you say that I was just some idiot?”

“Gavin, I didn't mean it.”

“You said you just felt bad for me -”

“It's not true!”

“And that I meant _nothing_ to you. That _**we**_ are _nothing_! _**Nothing**_ , Michael!” There was silence for a moment, Michael not knowing what to say and Gavin taking deep breaths before continuing on. “I'm just the _**fucking idiot**_ who thought you cared. I guess I was wrong.”

“But I _do_ care, Gavin, I swear, I care _so fucking much_ -”

Gavin interrupted again, “Then why? **_Why_** Michael? Why say those right n-nasty things?” This is when things started getting messy as Gavin looked down towards his lap, sniffling as he reached up to try and scrub his eyes without being obvious. Michael felt the heat building up behind his own eyes as he watched the Brit fall apart in front of him. “I thought you were my boi.”

Michael began shaking his head, not knowing what to say. How to make this better. “I _am_ your boi, Gavin. I am your boi. You're my boi.”

“Then why?!” Gavin let out a high pitched, keening sort of noise as he shook his own head fiercely.

“ _I don't know!_ I just... I had a _word-vomit_ moment and said shit I didn't mean to say and _god fucking **damnit**_ , I'm sorry.”

“Just... just tell me one thing.”

Michael paused for a moment, itching to just reach his arms out and hold Gavin. But he doesn't. “...What is it?”

“Why is it...” Gavin starts, stumbling over his words as what sounds like a sob hitches in his throat. “Why is it that _nobody wants me?_ ”

It was in that instant that no words spoken before had ever hit Michael as hard as those had. It was almost instantaneous that he felt the blood in his veins run ice cold, sending shivers down his spine. His mouth went dry as he tried to form the words that would reassure his soul-mate. “That's... it's not...”

“Don't even tell me it's not true, you nob. Because it bloody well is. Nobody wants me... My own _father_ despises me. My _sister_ is a good as dead. I have to be reminded by it everyday. Just be being here! It would just be better if I weren't here – if I were _gone_.”

It was a lie when Michael believed that what Gavin had said previously had been the worst he had ever heard. It was the biggest lie he could ever think of, because what was just said? What was just said now? Those were the words that killed him. Made him feel like his entire body was going numb in the span of seconds. How could Gavin even think this? How could this dumb, ridiculous, beautiful, intelligent boy think he deserved nothing but to live?

Gasping slightly, Michael shouted as he tried to control all the thoughts swirling through his head. “Th-that's not true. It's not true. _It's not fucking true!_ ”

“Nobody wants me here. It would just be better if I were d-” Gavin was cut off as lips forcefully met his own, molding together in soft touches as Michael's hands reached up to cup warm cheeks firmly, ignoring the dampness from his tears.

Gavin was being kissed by _Michael_.

Michael was kissing _Gavin_.

**_They were actually fucking kissing._ **

Michael wasn't sure what compelled him to dive straight in and lip-lock with the sandy-haired lad. He just knew that he couldn't let him say anymore bullshit about how he ' _wasn't wanted_ '. Because it wasn't true. It was the farthest from the truth that Michael had probably ever heard.

Just as he felt the slightest bit of pressure being applied, he pulled back. Licking his lips – and still pretty much in disbelief that he just kissed Gavin – he rested his brow against the younger lad's.

“I really like you, Gavin,” Michael whispered. “And _I_ want you here. Even if no one else did – which is total bullshit, by the way, because I'm pretty sure Geoff might _kill_ me after tonight.”

“You have a bloody dumb way of showing it, you pleb,” Gavin mumbled, looking at anything but Michael at the moment.

“I know.”

“And you _are_ right about something, though; Geoff is most likely going to completely _bludgeon_ you.”

Michael sigh-groaned, pouting. “Tell me something I don't already know.”

It was quiet for a moment as they sat there, forehead's still meeting, the sound of rain drizzling in the background. Gavin pulled back slightly, looking Michael in the eyes behind slightly fogged lenses. Reaching up, he gently grabbed the sides of the auburn-haired lad's face, thumbs brushing the apples of his cheeks. “Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you... Why did you say all those things?”

Michael froze, his eyes widening a fraction as he just stared blankly at Gavin. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't very well tell him, ' _Oh, it's because you're my soul-mate and I have a big gay crush on you, but didn't want to tell you_ '. That wouldn't go over very well. But he also didn't think he could keep lying to Gavin about it. It was eating away at him.

“I...” Michael trailed off, lifting his own hands to grasp onto Gavin's wrists.

“ _Micool_?”

Shaking his head to bring himself back to the current situation, he stared into Gavin's _bluegreenblue_ eyes before giving him a shaky smile. He was actually happy to hear the dumb way that Gavin said his name. “I told you before that... sometimes I'm an idiot. I say things I don't mean. I do dumb things. Fuck, I have absolutely  _no_ means of a filter. I was just pissed at Ray for... for making me come to terms with how I feel about you. Which really, I know it's kinda fucking stupid. But I didn't want to admit that I really cared about you.”

Frowning in confusion, Gavin tilted his head to the side. “But _why_ , Michael? I never really was discrete myself in how I felt.”

“It's just,” Michael stopped for a moment, trying to come up with the correct words. “It's complicated. Honestly, though? It has more to do with me then it does with you. Which is as cheesy as it sounds, ' _It's not you, it's me_ '. But it's kinda true. I have some shit I need to work through. But, I mean... I'm willing to work through it with you. **_Together_**.” He paused, feeling his cheeks flame up again. “I mean, that's if you want to-”

“Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“ _Just shut up_ ,” Gavin whispered, pulling Michael's face towards him again as he melded their lips together again.

* * *

Ray sighed in relief as he got the text from Michael saying that Gavin was safe and with him. He was still outside, wandering around in the cold, wet darkness with only his phone as a light. This entire situation just sucked. Sucked massive, huge dicks. At this point, the blame game was done. They had both been assholes, even if Michael had a hard time admitting it. And now their friendship was frayed and Gavin was troubled. Not to even mention anything about Gavin and Michael's... whatever they had. Ray had thought that he was just pushing it along; wanted to stop delaying the inevitable by helping the two realize they were soul-tards.

That, and he had a bet with Jack that they would be fucking by the end of December.

“Jesus Christ, Ray, you _really_ fucked up this time,” he mumbled to himself.

“Ray?”

Turning towards the sound of his name being called, by a very feminine voice at that, the Puerto Rican came face to face with none other than Tina. At fucking three in the morning. He felt his face heat up in a blush as he watched her walk closer to him, an umbrella over her head. He had a theory going on in his head, but he didn't want to say anything about it until he knew for sure.

“Hey, Tina. What are you doing here? It's, uh, it's kinda really late.” Smooth, Ray.

“I was going to say the same to you,” she smiled at him gently. She shifted her colorful rain-guard a bit, revealing a backpack on her shoulders. “I was just at the library. When the fire alarm happened, I figured it was the best place to stay warm and dry.”

“Ah, yeah. I guess that makes sense,” Ray mumbled, scrubbing his hand through his short hair underneath his hood. “Shit. Why didn't _I_ think of that?”

She grinned, shrugging. “Dunno. But anyways, what are you up to?”

He chuckled nervously, moving his hand to scratch at the back of his neck as he tried to avoid staring at her _veryprettyohmanwhywasshesopretty_ face.“It's, uh... sort of a long story.”

“Well, if you aren't up to anything, you can join me on the ride to Dunkin.”

“...At three in the morning?”

She shrugged. “I've got a term paper to finish and I'm a night owl. Plus, who needs sleep when you've got shots of turbo in your caramel lattes?”

It probably only took him two seconds before coming up with a decision. “Yolo. Let's go.”

* * *

Ryan wasn't a happy camper. Not in the freakin' least bit of the word. If you wanted to be technical, he was damn right pissed off. Not only was he wet, cold, and tired – with an exam at eight in the morning that he was nowhere near prepared for – but his idiotic friend was missing and Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass were being completely fucking stupid. Calling Gavin a ' _walking-stick of dumb_ ' was inaccurate when compared to those two. If they hadn't started this shit – if _Michael_ had been honest from the get-go and if _Ray_ would stop acting like a smug little dickwad, they wouldn't be hunting the campus for a missing Brit.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket and hearing the faint pinging noise, he reached for his mobile and watched as the screen lit up with a message from Michael saying that he found Gavin. Sighing with relief, he ignored the text and scrolled through his contacts for another number. Hitting the call button, he listened to the cheesy classical music play as the ringback tone as he waited for them to answer. He knew the caller would be awake anyways.

“' _Ello_?”

“Jack, I'm coming to your place. The lads are being idiots and I'm not dealing with any of them tonight. Your couch better be free.”

* * *

Hefting the nearly comatose Brit up his back a little higher, Michael made his way tentatively up the stairs, trying to be quiet and not drop Gavin at the same time. It was difficult – because even though the idiot weighed probably 30 pounds soaking wet, he was all gangly limbs – but manageable. When the two of them had slid down from the rock side back to solid ground, Gavin had had a particularly hard time walking straight, swerving like a drunk. It was getting them nowhere fast and Michael had really, _really_ wanted to get out of the cold. So the end result was him piggy-backing the moron in the woods, through the campus, and back to the dorms.

Honestly, in Michael's opinion, they must have looked fucking ridiculous.

Gavin's raspy cough turned into a scratchy cough that hit the older lad hard. His frown that he had been constantly wearing the past hour deepened as he felt the slight heat emanating from Gavin's forehead onto the back of his neck. It was unnerving to think that he could be getting sick. Gavin didn't get sick. He had the best immune system in the entire damn world.

“Hey, Gavvy?”

“Hm?” Came the sleepy reply as arms tightened around his shoulders.

Michael resisted the urge to smile at that, opting instead to clench the younger's thighs a bit where he held them. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Mmm...” He trailed off, groaning slightly as he was jolted a bit. “'m not exactly feeling top... Head hurts. 'n I'm a bit cold. Figured it was from the rain.” His accent was thickened from what the red-head assumed was exhaustion.

_Well_ _ **shit**_ _._ “Yeah, buddy. Let's hope that's the case.”

Finally getting up to his hall, and thanking Christ that he was only on the second floor unlike Gavin, he shifted the British lad a bit so that he could open the door with one hand while still carrying him. It was an amazing feat to watch as he struggled with the door, and something he wished he could have gotten on camera for laughs later. Eventually he was forced to put Gavin down - “It's either that or we sleep out in the hallway tonight, dude,” - to get the offending metal object unlocked. As soon as he put him down, leaning him against the door frame, the light-haired boy slid to the floor. Apparently he was too tired to even keep himself standing and it was starting to worry Michael.

God fucking _dammit_ , he hated worrying.

“Come on, Gavvy,” Michael murmured softly, kneeling down in front of Gavin after opening the door, brushing damp bangs out of sea-glass eyes. Gavin just stared at him, his expression almost blank as he blinked heavily. The auburn-haired lad continued to frown. He reached down, pulling the lanky lad up and throwing his arm over his shoulder while ignoring the quiet moan from the other. “We're going to bed.”

“But _Micool_... What about class?”

Michael snorted, shaking his head as he dragged his soul-idiot into his room. “Never thought I'd hear that come from _your_ mouth... And we're skipping tomorrow. Or today. Whatever it is. And tomorrow, too, now that I think about it. Nice long weekend for the two of us. The professors can fuck off for all that I care.”

That got a bit of a raspy chuckle from the younger before it broke out into a coughing fit. Michael mentally groaned to himself; Gavin was definitely getting sick. Shutting the door behind him with his foot, he hauled the younger lad in and set him down onto his bed before going on a hunt for clean clothes. He knew they were both practically soaked through and there was no way in Hell he was getting his nice, warm, fucking comfortable bed wet because he was tired. Digging through the pile of 'clean' laundry on the floor, he threw a pair of pajama bottoms and a long-sleeved shirt at Gavin, ignoring the muffled ' _Oi_!' before finding some for himself.

“Get those on. I'm running to the bathroom to change, then we are going the fuck to sleep,” Michael muttered, ignoring any words from Gavin before leaving the room. He needed a moment to think. He knew it probably wasn't the smartest idea to just leave the Brit alone, but his brain wasn't exactly making coherent thoughts at the moment. He confessed to Gavin. Confessed feelings he hadn't even been entirely sure about, but now seemed completely right. Sure, it wasn't a total declaration of love or any of that bullshit, but it was more to Michael than he ever thought he'd feel.

Muttering to himself, he quickly made his way into a stall, locking himself in and peeling off his damp clothing before changing into another pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He didn't even bother to brush his teeth, realizing that he forgot his toothbrush in his room. “I'll just get it in the morning,” he grumbled, gathering his sodden apparel off the floor and heading back into the awkwardness known as his room.

Immediately upon entering, he tossed everything – including Gavin's articles, not even thinking – into the furthest corner from the bed. He'd deal with it in the morning, his newest excuse of the week. Blinking heavily, he turned towards his bed to the current object of his affections.

Gavin had basically taken over his position from earlier in the evening: curled up on his side and facing the slightly chilly concrete wall. The lad hadn't even bothered the pull the blankets up after he had changed. He didn't seem to acknowledge Michael when he walked into the room, either. And honestly, the red-head wasp pretty damn surprised he had stayed. Especially after everything that had happened. And even after everything, all the sadness, all the anger, all the emotions... All Michael wanted to do was hold Gavin. Hold him tightly and keep him close to him. At least for the next few days.

Fuck his life. This was going to be interesting.

Rubbing at his eyes behind his glasses, he pulled off the offending objects and placed them on the table next to his bed.

He was fucking tired and sleeping until at least two.

Plugging his phone into the charger and turning off the light for hopefully the last time that evening, he resumed his spot next to Gavin in the too small bed. A fact that he honestly didn't mind at that moment. Drawing the covers up and over them, he didn't let the small voice in the back of his head dictate what he was going to do this time as he moved closer to the lad, dragging him over and holding him close.

“Michael...”

“Shut up.”

“But _Michael_ -”

“ _ **No**_ ,” the older lad shook his head, not allowing Gavin to give him any reason to pull away. “ _I'm_ not moving. _You're_ not moving. It's been a really bad fucking night and now I want to go to bed and cuddle. So shut the fuck up and just let me hold you.”

Gavin sighed in resignation, turning over and moving closer to the older lad. His arm snaked it's away over the red-head's waist as he nuzzled into Michael's neck, inhaling the unique scent of his boi. Michael only held him closer, lips meeting the Brit's forehead softly.

“I'm still angry at you.”

“I know,” Michael replied softly, pulling back from the younger to look him in the face.

“You're a complete and utter arse.”

“I'm sorry.”

Shaking his head, Gavin mumbled to himself slightly as he ducked his head back beneath Michael's, sniffling slightly. His head felt right damn stuffed full of cotton. And he was sniffly. He hated being sniffly. It was the most annoying feeling in the world. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pounding that was starting to form between his eyes as he drifted off to sleep.

Michael felt more than saw Gavin fall asleep, his entire body relaxing as the ill boy slipped off into dreamland. He could feel the heat practically radiated from Gavin's forehead as the lad slept away. Michael honestly couldn't have cared less as he pulled his boi's slack body closer, just happy to have him safe and in his arms again for the second time that night. And he wasn't planning on letting him leave again any time soon. He knew they would have to talk about this again at some point in the near future, but as of that moment, his main focus was Gavin and keeping him happy.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnd there you have it! This fucking beast of a chapter (honestly the longest one I've written yet) is finally done! I'm sorry for any errors you may find. I'll look through it fully tomorrow (today? whatever) and edit my mistakes. I hope you enjoy it - included the little bit of interaction between Ray and Tina - and that it's not total shit. Enjoy, my loves~!


	14. Alright, who told Papa Geoff?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina and Ray go out for 3 a.m. Coffee, Michael deals with nightmares of someone named 'Livvy', and Papa Geoff is on the hunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look at me! I'm not dead and neither is this story!
> 
> Listen, guys. I am so, so, SO sorry for how long I've made you wait for this. I've legit just had no motivation for the chapters to come (in fact, I've been more or less writing what is going to be the final chapter(s) of this story), so it's been really difficult to get anything out. Plus, between that and work and moving and everything else, life is pretty chaotic. I'm sorry if this chapter isn't the long one I promised, but I wanted to get something out. Even if it was just a bit of filler.
> 
> Please enjoy! <3

“So, Tina..."

"So, Ray?"

Ray took a large sip of his hot chocolate before responding with a smirk. "Is Dunkin your normal place to be at _three in the morning_?"

Tina snorted into her caramel latte - extra sugar because that's just how she rolled - as she shook her head, mimicking Ray's grin. “Not as often as you'd think, actually. Just this term paper for history is kicking my ass and I want to get it done.”

Ray raised an eyebrow. “Term paper? But finals aren't for another, like, three weeks...”

“Yeah, but our professor assigned it now and I guess you can say I'm an early bird when it comes to school work,” she sighed, placing her elbow against the tabletop before leaning her hand against it. “Especially when it's about the civil war-” She stopped short, raising an eyebrow as Ray gave her an odd look. “ _Why_ are you staring at me like that?”

“... _Three **weeks**_?! I'm lucky if I start a paper three **_days_** before!”

“Are you _really_ stuck on the fact that I'm doing my work before it's due?”

“ ** _Yes_**!” Ray exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and getting weird looks from the few people actually in the restaurant. “What's the point of having all that time to do the work if you're gonna finish it in _two days_?!”

“...So that I have more time to do the rest of my work?”

“ _I don't understand you._ ”

Tina simply took another sip from her coffee.

* * *

Michael felt like he had barely closed his eyes when his bedmate decided to suddenly start thrashing about. At first, he couldn't really register what was going on – being _dead asleep_ and having a _really_ good fucking dream - but then he got a sudden _very_ hard kick to the shin that easily brought him out of lala land.

“ _What_ the _**fuck**_?” Michael shouted, shooting up in bed in a confused daze. He looked around blearily, not quite comprehending his surroundings as he glared at the still dark sky out his window. _Who the fuck's bright idea was it to wake him up_ -

“No, no, **_no_**!”

Turning towards his left, Michael finally understood what woke him up. Gavin was rolling around, so completely drenched in sweat that the sheets twisted around his lithe form and stuck to his skin. He was mumbling something in his sleep, slowly getting louder as his movement grew. Michael reached for him, trying to grasp him by the shoulders to shake him awake.

“Gavin... _Gavin_! Come on, wake _up_!”

“No, not again...”

“Gavin!”

“No, I won't... Livvy, no!”

“ _Gavin_ , wake up **_now_**!”

Jolting up from the bed with a squeak, Gavin smacked headfirst into Michael, the other not having enough time to move before he was being headbutted across the bed. The redhead groaned, grasping his forehead as he sat back up. God, did he have a _hard_ fucking head. Mumbling to himself about “ _soul-idiots_ ” and their “ _rock hard heads_ ”, Michael continued to rub what would no doubt soon be a bruise as he tried to focus on the lad in his bed. The only thing he could make out in the darkness was a hunched over figure and soft whimpering.

“...Gavvy?”

“ _Livvy_... Livvy, _I'm sorry,_ ” Gavin croaked out, hands moving from his forehead to cover his eyes as he slowly came back to distant awareness. He didn't seem to be completely conscious of where he was. It was almost like he was still stuck in his dream...

Yeah, like Michael was ever going to let _that_ continue.

Grabbing the skinnier boy, the auburn-haired lad brought his soul-idiot closer to his chest, ignoring the brief struggle he received in the process. It seemed almost natural at this point to have him in his arms. Even if he would very begrudgingly admit it. “Gavin, _Gavin_. It's okay. _It's alright_. Come back, okay?”

Gavin froze at the words, his body seeming to melt as he came back to himself. Slowly, ever so slowly, he wrapped his arms around Michael's waist, inhaling deeply the smell of his boi. “ _Micool_ , I'm sorry. I didn't -”

“Shh, it's okay. It's _okay_ , Gavvy. Just breath deeply for me, okay?”

Gavin took a deep breath almost on command, trying to stop his gasping as he buried his face into Michael's shirt. Michael frowned in concern, hand running through the lad's sweaty hair as he pulled him closer. He waited for the younger's breathing to even out before he dragged him back down onto the mattress.

“You okay?”

Gavin nodded slightly, giving an affirmative mumble. “'s just a dream. Got caught up in it.”

Michael raised an eyebrow. “Sounded more like a _nightmare_ if you ask me.”

The Brit made no acknowledgement to that statement, simply keeping his face hidden in the older lad's shoulder.

Michael sighed, shaking his head slightly. He knew he wouldn't be getting an answer out of him anytime tonight. Even as curious as he was to who ' _Livvy_ ' was, he knew it wouldn't be right to pry it out of him. So instead of trying to force it out of the him, he simply rolled onto his back before dragging the younger lad over top of him, one hand immediately carding into flyaway strands. “Let's go back to sleep, idiot.”

* * *

 “So, that was fun,” Ray chirped, walking alongside Tina as they continued on the path towards the dorms. It was nearly six and if it weren't for the fact that they only went to Dunkin Donuts, he'd almost feel as if he were completing his first walk of shame. Well, minus the fact that the _girl_ was, at present, walking along with him.

“ _Definitely_ ,” Tina smiled back. “You should join me again for early morning adventures. It's more fun when I drag people along for my three a.m. trips to random places in Austin.”

Ray nodded, shoving his hands deeper into the pockets of his jeans. “ _Hell_ yeah. If I'm up, count me in.”

“Cool. So, wanna give me you phone for a second?”

“ _Huh_?”

“Your phone.” Tina motioned towards his jacket, knowing his iPhone was sitting in it. “ _Gimme_.”

“ ** _Oh_** ,” the New Yorker blushed slightly, handing his phone over without a second thought. “ _Wait_ , what are you -”

“What is with everyone and these _phones_?” Tina groaned, fiddling with the device in hand. “I **hate** iPhones so damn much.”

“ _Hey_ , don't judge the merch!” Ray cried in indignation.

“Psh. Android all the way,” the shorter girl mumbled before making a final tap on the screen of the phone before passing it back over to the confused lad. “Here you go. I should be getting a text any minute from... well, _me_ in lieu of _you_. So don't worry about giving me your number. Androids will probably confuse you, anyway.”

“Hey! Just because I have an iPhone, doesn't mean I don't know how to use...” Ray paused, trailing off as his mind finally caught up with his mouth. “Wait, _my_ number? **_Your_** number? **_What_**?”

“Duh,” Tina blinked slowly, an amused smile crossing her lips. “For the late night adventures? How _else_ did you think I would get you for them? Breaking into your room?”

“Uhm, w-well...” Ray stumbled over his words, trying to ignore the heat that was slowly filling his cheeks as he looked at the _cutecutewhyisshesofreakincute_ girl. Tina laughed softly, finally stopping from their trek across campus. It was at that moment that Ray realized where they were – back in front of freshman dorms, though more accurately next to what the Puerto Rican gamer assumed was Tina's hall. Reaching beneath his glasses to rub his eyes, he shook his head as he tried to get a handle on the situation, yawning loudly. His mind was _not_ fully functional at this point. Something that he pointed out loud.

“Yeah, I figured as much. Well, I'm off to crash until my class at four,” Tina said brightly, reaching over to tap Ray on the nose before walking over to the entryway of the brick building.“Tonight was fun. Let's get dinner later tonight, okay? I'll text you the details.” And with that said, she waved in the general direction of the freshman before entering the building.

Ray stared after her for a moment, his mind nearly blank as he stood nearly motionless. After nearly a full two minutes of standing there, the birds chirping loudly in morning song, the gamer finally came back to himself.

“I think I'm in _love_.”

* * *

Michael was peacefully sleeping, curled up next to his sick boi. No more nightmares, no more fire alarms. Just him, Gavin, and his warm, warm bed,

At least until his _phone_ started shaking like a jackhammer on the table.

The oldest lad groaned as his phone vibrated violently on his nightstand, the force so strong it woke him up from a dead sleep. Turning away from the warmth – too much warmth, Jesus fucking Christ, the kid was like a damn _oven_ – that was Gavin, he reached blindly for his mobile, cursing loudly as he knocked his glasses onto the floor. Mumbling to himself over and over about stupid fucking technology, he grabbed his phone and stared blandly at the text message glaring back at him.

> **Geoff – November 20, 2014 @ 10:35am:** _So you do realize I'm going to murder you, right?_

“Oh, fucking _lovely_... who told Papa Geoff?” Michael grumbled to himself, squinting at his phone as he typed out a reply with cold fingertips. Apparently the school decided it would be awesome to _not_ turn the damn heat on in the current frigid weather...

> **Michael – November 20, 2014 @ 10:38am:** _Just so you know, if you kill me, you'll probably be really hurting Gav. Like, a lot. And I don't mean that just physically._
> 
> **Geoff – November 20, 2014 @ 10:41am:** _Can't be any worse than what you did last night. Meet me down for breakfast in 10 mins. Leave Gavin there._
> 
> **Michael – November 20, 2014 @ 10:45am:** _How the fuck did you even know he was here? And isn't breakfast almost over?_
> 
> **Geoff – November 20, 2014 @ 10:48am:**   _Brunch, then. I have magical powers. And Ray texted me at 3 this fucking morning._

With a small sigh, Michael sat up. Scooting to the edge of the bed, he let his feet touch the floor, hissing slightly as his skin hit the cold tile. He was _not_ awake enough for this shit right now. “Fucking Hell... I'm going to **_kill_** him. If I wasn't going to do it before, I'm definitely going to kill him now.”

“W'zat?”

Michael jumped, feeling the body next to him shift slightly before sleepy storm-gray eyes turned up to look at him. Michael felt his face melt into a small smile as he subconsciously reached out, running his hand through sleep mussed hair before cupping Gavin's overheated cheek. “Nothing, don't worry about it. I'm just going to head off to get breakfast. You _stay here_ and get some rest.”

“Mmm,” the Brit nuzzled into the older lad's hand, eyes fluttering closed as he took in a deep, wheezy breath. This sudden cold was _clearly_ kicking his ass already. “Should I...?”

“No,” the red head responded, his thumb stroking along the younger lad's cheekbone before pulling his hand back. “Stay here and get some damn sleep. I'll be back soon, and I'll grab you something on the way back.”

Gavin mumbled a half coherent ' _okay_ ' over a yawn before turning over and curling back up against the wall. He fell asleep almost instantly, to Michael's amusement.

With a shake of his head, Michael stood up, stretching his arms high over his head as he cracked his back with a groan. Reaching down to the floor, he grabbed the closest pair of jeans he could find. “Well, let's get this shit over with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. Short. But at least it's something! Hopefully the good stuff will be written soon. I'll have more background at some point, I swear. And as everytime I do this, ignore any errors. It's nearly 5 am and I'm trying to get this done before I pass out for a few hours.


	15. Drinking Keystone because it was on sale is a lame reason.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Geoff does not kill Michael, Gavin and his mother talk, and Michael finds out a bit more about soulmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me, please don't hate me, please don't hate me!
> 
> I know I said this one wouldn't take as long (OVER TEN MONTHS, HOLY FUCK), but a lot of things have happened in the past six months that my groove has really been thrown. I was unemployed for the last five months until about two weeks ago, which really sucked because my bills are backed up to crap. At one point right after I lost my job, my bunnies had babies - BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT BOTH GIRLS LIKE WE WERE FUCKING TOLD - and then within a month we lost all nine babies :(. It was honestly absolutely devastating and I had no motivation to do anything for a while. Then I smashed my phone, my macbook stopped working correct, I got served a lawsuit for unpaid medical bills, one of my cousins died, and I had a horrible tooth infection. I know, it's just excuses at this point, but it's been really rough.
> 
> For those of you who have stuck with me in this over two year journey, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are the best and I am so happy that I've been able to keep you engaged and eager to still read this story. For anyone that is new to it, thank you so much for joining us! I really hope you enjoy what you read :).
> 
> I went back and edited about... six of the chapters, due to discrepancies with writing and other errors I found. I'm still working on finishing the rest, but I'm not going to give a time frame for that, cause I'll probably be lying.
> 
> I really hope you all enjoy this monster of a chapter! I felt that I owed you guys a longer one with the wait I made you suffer through. Hopefully it doesn't seem off it some places, because I worked on it in segments and parts. Oh, well. I'll edit it later.

Michael walked cautiously into the cafeteria, eyes darting from side to side as he headed towards the cereal bar. It was almost as if he was waiting for Geoff to pop out from around a corner and beat him senseless. Assuming that he would be at their normal table hidden underneath the ramp that lead to the cafeteria, he got himself a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and headed down towards the lower room. He _almost_ contemplated going into the upper level of the food court to eat before figuring he should just man up and get it over with.

After all, it's not like he would _kill_ him. Right?

...

 _Right_?

“Hey, _fuckface_! Get your ass down here!”

_Fuck his fucking god damn life._

“Coming, coming...” Michael grumbled, not quiet having the energy to fight with Geoff today. After all the shit last night – _so much fucking drama in a **twelve hour period**_ – he just wanted to go back to bed and snuggle his boi for the rest of the day in peace.

Something he definitely was _not_ getting anytime soon.

...And did he _really_ just use the fucking word **_snuggle_**?

God, he needed his head checked.

Sitting down in the seat next to Geoff – as the older immediately told him to _"move your stupid face closer"_ when he went to sit across from him – he tried not to look at the gent and instead focused intently on his cereal on his tray.

Only to be met with a slap to the back of the head.

“ _Ow_!” Michael exclaimed, reaching back to rub his skull with a glare. “I'd ask what that was for, but I'd probably sound like a fucking moron.”

“ _Yup_ ,” Geoff remarked, popping the 'p' at the end, rearranging the food on his tray to his liking. “And you're lucky you're linked to our beloved British twit or else you'd get worse.”

“Gee, thanks... I wonder if he felt that from the fucking dorm room,” the oldest lad mumbled, almost pouting as he withdrew his hand from his hair. “So, let's get this over with. You wanna bitch at me? Yell? Make me do laps around the gym? Fine. Let's do it.”

Geoff snorted, raising an eyebrow at the lad before taking a bite of his ham sandwich, chewing thoughtfully for a moment before he replied. “As entertaining as the gym thing sounds, which I'll keep in mind for a later date, I just want you to talk to me. Talk to me and tell me what happened.”

“You just...” Michael trailed off, his brain not quite catching up. He came here expecting a fight. He was completely unprepared for this almost... serene version of their leader. “You just want to talk? And, what, make a decision on what you are going to do to me afterwards?”

“I'm not going to do anything to you unless you keep stalling. Then I'm going to send Ryan after you, because you have no idea how pissed off he is with the whole situation.”

“No, no, I have a pretty good idea. Remember, I was there last night, too. Despite whatever the fuck you heard from Ryan or Ray,” Michael mumbled the last part more to himself than to Geoff.

“ _Michael_...” Came Geoff's warning tone.

“Okay, okay, fine. _Fucking Christ_.”

* * *

 The sound of a screaming child is what woke Gavin up from his restless sleep. Groaning, he made a reach for his phone – where the bloody hell did he put that thing and why did he decide on such a horrible text tone? - only for his hand to hit the concrete wall next to his bed. Which confused him, because his desk should be on his left side, not...

The British lad shot up, sea-green eyes wide and wild as he tried to grasp his surroundings before relaxing as his tired mind realized where he was.

“Micool's dorm room...” He mumbled to himself before groaning and falling back against the pillows, making a reach for his phone on Michael's nightstand. Rubbing at his eyes, grimacing at the feeling of congestion in his sinuses, he tapped out his password without even reading who the text was from. He yawned loudly as he read the text message, almost choking on the middle of it when he realized it was from his mother.

> _**Mum – November 20, 2014 @ 11:45am:** Hello darling, are you awake yet? Or are you in classes? I hope I'm not disturbing you._

Gavin smiled slightly down at his phone before typing up a reply. 

> _**Gavin – November 20, 2014 @ 11:46am:** Hi mum. I'm actually taking a sick day – seems I caught a bit of a nasty bug down here with the rain we've had lately. Is everything okay?_
> 
> _**Mum – November 20, 2014 @ 11:48am:** No no dear, everything is fine. I just wanted to check in on you. Did you get the email from your father?_

Gavin winced and nodded, not even thinking that his mother wouldn't be able to see it through the phone. With a small sigh, he regretfully answered:

> _**Gavin – November 20, 2014 @ 11:50am:** Yes, unfortunately. Do I really have to go home for those few days, mum...? It'll cost a small fortune to get me there._
> 
> _**Mum – November 20, 2014 @ 11:53am:** I'm sorry, but your father demands it. You know how he gets._
> 
> _**Gavin – November 20, 2014 @ 11:54am:** Exactly why I don't want to go home. I miss you, mum, but I just..._

The sandy-haired lad sent the message, almost afraid to portray how he really felt. He knew his mother would understand; she always did when it came to his relationship with his father. And it wasn't like he didn't miss his mum, or even Dan or his brother – it was just that going home to deal with the man who 'raised him' absolutely terrified him in ways that he couldn't describe. It was a deep seated fear that would never go away.

He nearly jumped when his phone went off again, so deep in thought for a moment that he forgot about it. 

> _**Mum – November 20, 2014 @ 11:58am:** I know, sweetheart. But we both know you don't have much of a choice. If I could make it different, I would in a heartbeat. You know this. I'm so sorry, my love. I love you._

Gavin felt his heart sink, knowing he would have to face the music sooner rather than later. He knew very well his mother had no control over his father's decisions, the man instilling so much fear in the petite woman that gave birth to him that she obeyed every order he gave. It was only on her insistence that he even left his home country and came to university in America. Honestly, if he had had the choice, he would have stayed with her. It was better to have him be his father's scapegoat then for it to fall on his poor mum. After all, he would never touch his brother. And _Livvy_ , well...

Shaking his head to rid it of that last thought, the Brit started to reply.

> _**Gavin – November 20, 2014 @ 12:01am:** I know, Mum. I'm sorry, I really don't blame you. At least I'll get to see you for a few days, right? I love you, too._

Locking his phone, he curled into himself further and buried his face in the comforter that smelled like Michael. Might as well enjoy it while he could.

* * *

After going over the details as much as he could remember of the night before, it was decided that they would be taking a quick trip to the oldest gent's place to discuss the soulmate crap. It took longer than Michael expected it would to get to Geoff's place as the older decided to stop by GameStop on the way. Apparently he wanted to see if there had been any new games or decent deals going on, despite Michael telling him that he was just there the day before with nothing new.

Unlocking the door and throwing his keys onto the table next to it, Geoff waved his hand in the air in a grand gesture. “You know the drill, make yourself at home. Want a beer?”

The oldest lad raised an eyebrow at that. “Dude, it's like... Noon. Or somewhere near that time. Don't you think it's a little fucking early to bev it up? And where's the wife and kid?”

“Five o'clock somewhere, man. Griffon is off Christmas shopping with the girl.”

“ _Christmas shopping_? It's _way_ too fucking early for that.”

“Exactly what I said!” Geoff exclaimed loudly before holding up two beer bottles, dangling them in the air. “Now do you want one or not?”

Pausing for a moment in consideration, he decided 'fuck it'. “Yeah, yeah, toss one my way. As long as it's not that crappy Keystone Light shit you had last weekend.”

“It was on sale!”

“Lame-o fucking excuse.”

Geoff didn't bother to reply, just rolled his eyes as he closed the fridge door with his hip before carrying the two bottles into the living room. Handing one over to Michael, he popped his open with his teeth – a trick he had learned while in the army, of all places – before leaning back into the couch with a groan. “Alright, so what do you want to know?”

“What do you _mean_ what do I want to know?” Michael questioned, opening his bottle the normal way with a bottle opener. “ _You're_ the one that insisted _I_ come here to talk with you about the soul-idiot crap.”

“Yeah, because I know you've had shit you wanted to ask me about since I knew about you two morons.”

The red-haired lad kept quiet for a moment, taking a sip of his Blue Moon in quiet contemplation before speaking softly. “You said something a few weeks ago. Something that's really been bothering me.”

“I say _a lot_ of things that bother people,” Geoff admitted guilelessly.

“Shut the fuck up for one second and be serious for once. You said you lived with Gavin for three years, right?”

“Yeah, from the time he was... what, thirteen until a little past his seventeenth birthday? Before his _father_ yanked him back to the U.K.” Geoff answered solemnly, the comedy seeming to be drained from him in an instant as he nearly spat out the word 'father'.

“And you said... you said something like... he was covered with 'cuts and bruises', right?”

“Michael-”

“ _ **No**_ , don't _Michael_ me. I need you to explain this,” Michael interrupted him, turning suddenly raging eyes towards the older gent. “I don't fucking understand this. If I'm his soulmate, how could he have been beaten by his father without me having any idea about it? I should have been _covered_ with bruises at the very fucking least!”

“I _never_ said his father was beating him-”

“Oh, come off it!” the auburn-haired lad growled, clenching his beer tightly in his fist. “I'm not fucking stupid. It's obvious that his father was – and probably still is - beating him. Why else would you never mention him? Why else would dread talking to the bastard every week on Skype?”

“ _Listen_ , Michael, I can't explain it. I don't know why, I don't know how,” Geoff stated soberly with a shake of his head. “All I know is that he showed up on my parents doorstep on day as part of some 'foreign exchange student' program or something. My parents seemed dead surprised that he showed up at all, though.”

Eyes narrowing, Michael clenched his beer tightly. “Why were they so surprised?”

“I guess his father called the program and tried to cancel having him sent here,” Geoff shrugged, running his finger along the curl of his mustache. “From what the folks told me, the guys from the program basically told him that it was nonrefundable at that point whether or not he showed up. So we weren't expecting him to come until he showed up one day with his mother and a... a broken nose.”

Michael blinked, reaching up to adjust his glasses as he stared the older gent down. He was almost terrified to ask why a broken nose seemed like such a big deal. He broke his nose so many times as a kid while horse-playing with his brothers. “A broken nose?”

“Yeah,” Geoff nodded. “And he was... was covered – in bruises, scratches, and... burns.”

“ _ **Burns**_?” the auburn-haired lad whispered, eyes turning a dark, russet brown as he stood up, slamming his hands on the table. “What the _fuck_ do you mean he was **_burned_**?!”

“Michael, sit the fuck back down and shut up,” Geoff near growled, watching as the younger clenched his fist tightly before sitting down begrudgingly. “They were cigarette burns... Gavin never explained where they came from or why he head them or anything. I was twenty-five and living in my parents basement after my stint in the army, almost like my own little 'apartment', but... when I asked Ma what the hell happened with him, she said didn't know either.”

“And he never said anything.”

“And he never said anything,” the oldest gent nodded, sighing as he ran his hand through his hair. “I talked it over with Pops one night after a few drinks, he had some theory that... that it was his father. That his father beat him.”

Michael stared down at the table, his hand clenched around his bev that he had previously forgotten. “It really does explain everything.. But it still doesn't tell me who the fuck Livvy is,” he muttered to himself, running one hand down his face in frustration.

“ _Livvy_?”

“Yeah... Gavin was... calling her name in his sleep last night. _Crying_. Some sort of nightmare. Kept saying how sorry he was.”

Geoff shook his head, suddenly looking so much older than the grad student he was. “Now that's something I can't get into it. I told you more than I really fucking should have about this shit with his father. I can't tell you about his sister.”

“His _sister_?” Michael perked up. He didn't even know Gavin had another sibling. “What do you mean his sister?”

“No.”

“Geoff, come on.”

“ ** _No_**. Michael, we are not getting into this right now. If he hasn't told you yet, then he's not ready. It's not my business, nor is it yours yet.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Michael snapped, arms crossed as he glared at his friend. It seemed like they were done – for now, at least. “Can you drive me back to campus now? I want to make sure that idiot hasn't died in my bedroom.”

“I'm pretty sure you would _know_ if that moron died.”

“Shut up, asshole.”

Geoff sighed gently in aggravation before standing up and making a grab for his laptop from the kitchen table. “Before I take you back, let's get back on the subject of him being hurt without you knowing. I have a bit of a theory.”

“A _theory_?” Michael snorted, rolling his eyes. His capacity for theories and this soulmate crap was at the breaking point and he was about ready to throat punch whoever first discovered it. “Is this an actual one or some stupid shit you came up with while you were balls deep in vodka one night?”

“ **Michael** ,” the older gent started, a sort of anger starting to radiate from his being as he almost slammed his computer down in front of the red-haired lad. “I am _trying_ to be patient with you, I _really_ fucking am, but if you don't stop coping an attitude with me soon, I promise you that I will find a way to break your face without hurting him. And trust me, I've done a lot of research. I can figure it the fuck out.”

Michael raised his hands in the air, being smart enough to take the bull by the horns and not piss off Geoff. While he may be a goofy guy, he was also someone who had a deeply seated temper that you never wanted to be on the receiving end of. “Sorry, man. My bad. Let's just... go over this theory.”

Geoffrey smirked a bit to himself, the earlier offense already forgotten as he pulled the computer from sleep mode and opened up bookmark folder titled 'Idiots'. Passing the laptop to the lad, he pointed out the many bookmarks saved. “Read through these. I'm going to go call the wife to make sure she isn't buying out the entire mall.”

Michael placed his beer on the table and opened the first of many bookmarks as Geoff walked into the back hallway, seeing an article titled _ **'** **Why Don't We Feel The Same Pain? A Soul Mate Study'.**_ Scrolling through it, Michael could feel his stomach almost drop at some of the information he was reading. One paragraph in particular really bothered him:

> _“In a study done in 2010 on 10,000 couples from the United States, it was found that only 56 of those couples have the ability to block their pain from their soul mate. Out of those 56, it was found that only 12 of them were able to do it at will where the other 44 experienced it subconsciously. The 'barrier', as it has been dubbed, is thought to have been brought on by extreme duress or emotional pain. It is unclear if this ability is something of recent development or if it dates back to when soul mates were first truly discovered as reports only go back about fifty years or so.”_

“You gotta be fucking kidding me...” Michael groaned, dragging his hands down his face as he leaned back into the cushions. “Well, this does explain the cut on his hand...”

“The what?” Came Geoff's inquiry as he sauntered back into the room, tapping away on his phone as he fell into the mushroom chair.

“Gavin managed to somehow gouge his fucking hand open during last nights events... But I didn't feel a damn thing. Nothing. I didn't even notice it until I was dragging him out of the crevice he has shoved himself in.”

“Did that asshole crawl into one of those hard to reach spots again?”

“Yeah, let's not talk about that right now. I'm going to have nightmares for a fucking month after everything last night.”

Geoff snorted, raising an eyebrow. “And whose fault was that?”

“Fuck you,” Michael replied without malice, shaking his head as he stood with a yawn. “Listen, can we go back now? I really should check on him. And probably feed him.”

“You make him sound like he's your _child_.” Geoff called over his shoulder with a grin as he grabbed the car keys and headed towards the door.

“That shit is _wrong_ on so many fucking levels... Shut the fuck up and just go.”

* * *

“Hey, Gav, you're up. How are you feeling?”

Gavin sniffled, giving his soulmate a small smile as he rubbed at this eyes. “A wee bit stuffy, but not as knackered as I feel I should, though I might have to take a kip later. I borrowed some of that Dayquil you had stored in your desk. Hope you don't mind.”

“Nah, of course not.

“Where in the _chuff_ have you been, Micool? It's been hours.” Gavin quipped quietly from his place on the bed with a slight head tilt, wrapped up in Michael's comforter adorably.

Ugh, fuck, did he really just use the word ' _adorably_ '? Seriously, he really needed to get his head checked.

“I got dragged out of my nice and comfy bed by a pissy ex-army asshole with a giant mustache.”

“Geoff?”

“No, sir Glockenspiel the fifth. Of _course_ it was fucking Geoff – who the fuck else would make me get out of bed because some other asshole decided to tell him that there was a drama-fest last night.”

Gavin sniffed, frowning slightly.. “Well, aren't you a grumpy little sausage today?”

Michael sighed, dragging his hand down his face before running his other hand through the blonde's hair, ruffling the already messy mane. “I'm sorry, Gavvy. I really am. Just... I think I need a vacation or some shit like that.”

“Well, Thanksgiving is coming up next week,” Gavin mentioned, his stuffy nose making it sound like he said 'danks gibbon'. “Don't they give us a few extra days off because of that? Aren't you heading home for the holiday?”

“Yeah, thank fucking baby Jesus. I need that mini break, though I really can't wait for Christmas break. And fuck _no_ , do you know how expensive it would be to fly home for four days and then fly back? I'm just going to stay on campus like I did last year. I stayed at Geoff's place; Ryan, Jack and I had our own sort of dinner, with Jack cooking everything. It was pretty sick.”

“Where was Geoff?”

“Eh, I don't remember. Either at Griffon's parents place or his parents place... something like that.” Michael moved away from Gavin to sit at his computer desk, going to check his email to see if Professor Burns would ream him a new one for skipping class again. “He let us use the kitchen since we don't have shit here. Probably will do it again this year.”

“Well, that sounds like fun.”

“Fuck yeah, it is. You're obviously coming with me when I go, right?”

“Well, I mean -”

“Dude, don't even _try_ and say you had plans. It's not like you were going back to England for those few days.”

Gavin paused for a moment, swallowing the lump that suddenly formed in his throat. “Actually, I am...”

“ _What_?” Michael barked, turning from his computer desk to look at his soul-idiot. “You've gotta be fucking kidding me. You aren't going home.”

“My father already bought me plane tickets... My mum misses me, and I guess they figured with this break I could go home and see them for a bit. I leave on the twenty-third - on Sunday. I'll be back round the next Sunday.” The answer came out quietly as Gavin gave the older lad an almost sad smile, as if he was frightened to answer. Michael didn't like seeing that fear in him.

He didn't want to see him go home to him.

“Can't you just blow him off?” Michael was trying to come up with any excuse he could without showing how troubled he actually was. “What's the worse he can do, take away your allowance?”

The sandy-haired Brit snorted, shaking his head while mumbling to himself. It sounded almost like he said _“If only”_ , but Michael couldn't be sure.

“What was that?”

“Ah, nothing. It was nothing...”Gavin trailed off.

“No, seriously, what did you say?"

“ _Really_ , Michael, it was nothing. I'm just tired and you know me, I say dumb things sometimes.”

Michael hated what would come next. The question he knew he had to ask, but didn't know when the right opportunity would be. So instead of waiting, instead of sitting on it longer, he just let it out by asking:

“Gavin... who is Livvy?”

Gavin almost immediately tensed at the mention of her name, his hands clenching so tightly in the comforters that his normally tan knuckles turned stark white against the navy fabric. “W-where did you hear about her?”

“ _You_ , actually,” Michael said gentle, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried not to stare too hard at the Brit. He clearly wasn't taking this well. At all. “You... mentioned her name in your sleep last night. When you were having a nightmare. At least I think it was a nightmare, with the way you were trying to neuter me with your fucking kicking.”

Gavin was silent, giving no answer as he continued to stare down at the comforter over his lap.

“Gavin?” Michael questioned quietly.

The younger broke out of his stupor, blinking almost owlishly up at Michael before shaking his head. “She's no one, don't worry about it.”

Squinting at him, Michael could feel his lip curling slightly as he sneered at that comment. “That's fucking bullshit. Obviously she's someone important with the reaction you had last night.” His body seemed to move on it's own without his knowledge as he stood up from the computer desk, slowly making his way towards the other. “Come on, Gavin, just tell me.”

“I can't.”

“Don't give me that, Gav, just spit it ou-”

_“ **No** , Michael!”_

The sudden silence in the room after Gavin's outburst was so intense you could have heard a pin drop. Gavin's hands shook from where they were fisted in the blankets, his bangs covered his eyes as he took in deep, gasping breaths.

“ _What_ -”

“Michael, _please_. I just... I _can't_ talk about her. Not right now. I'm begging you, please.”

The older lad stopped himself from yelling, trying to ease his blood pressure that had surely sky rocketed in the last few minutes by letting out slow and even breaths. Moving closer to his other half, he dropped his hand on top of his fluffy head again and sitting down next to him, moving the fringe that was in front of his eyes before dropping his arm around the younger lad's shoulders. “Alright. I'm sorry, boi. Let's just drop it.”

Michael didn't add in the _'for now'_ that both lads knew was hidden in that sentence.

With a small sigh, Gavin leaned against the older boi, rubbing at his watery eyes tiredly. “So, what did Geoff want?”

“Oh, you know, to bitch at me about last nights high school drama.”

Gavin snorted with a bit of a giggle. “That must've been bloody brill. You two spent quite some time _faffing_ about.”

Michael rolled his eyes, shrugging slightly as he dragged his hand down the freshman's back to rub circles into the tense muscles he could feel there. “It could have been worse. We talked for a bit. I told him all the shit that went down - for the most part that is – and then we went to his house for a few beers. Nothing fantastic, really.”

“I knew I could smell booze. Isn't it a little early to bev up, my lovely little Micool?”

“Says that guy that got _drunk_ at **_nine in the morning_ ** the other week,” came the deadpanned reply from the auburn-haired lad. That had been a fun, fun morning.

“Michael! We said we would never discuss that moment ever again! How could you betray me like that?”

“Very easily, apparently.”

Gavin mock sniffled, though his cold made it sound gross no matter how he went about it, before replying, “I see how it is.”

Michael chuckled before changing the topic. “So, how are you getting to the airport?”

“I figured I'd take a cab. I think Mum was going to put some money in my bank-”

“Pfft, yeah right. You've obviously lost more brain cells than I thought if you think I'm not going to see my boi off before he goes away for a week. Obviously I'm driving you.”

“Micool, you really don't need to-”

“Nope.”

“But _Michael_ -”

“Uh-uh.”

“I-”

“Just shut up and let me drive you to the airport.”

“...Okay.”  
  
“Now, are you hungry? Cause I have those Kraft Mac n' Cheese cups and Pop Tarts. It's not much, and probably not amazing for a cold, but it's better than nothing.” Michael rubbed the pad of his thumb over Gavin's scratchy cheek, the lad having not shaved in the past few days. Gavin sighed, leaning his head into the warm hand on his face.  
  
“No, I think I just want to go back to sleep for a bit if that's alright...?”  
  
“Dude, that's an amazing idea.” Michael pushed Gavin towards his side of the bed – while mentally wondering when the hell did it become Gavin's side – before shimmying underneath the covers next to the younger lad, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. “Let's take a 'kip' before dinner, then we'll figure out dinner, okay? Maybe go bother Geoff again for soup and bevs. Well, soup for you, bevs for me.”  
  
Gavin snorted slightly, a small smile drawing across his lips. “Sounds lovely, my little Michael.”

* * *

They had arrived at the airport, three days later, with a few hours to spare before Gavin's plane took off. Michael hated that he wasn't able to go past security, but he didn't have a gate pass and the British lad wouldn't let him get one – despite his insistence that he wanted to see him off. They stood in front of check in, Gavin checking through his pockets to be sure he had everything.

“You got everything?”

“Yes, Michael.”

“Passport?”

“Mhm.”

“Ticket?”

“Of course.”

“Phone?”

“Yes.”

“Clothes?”

“...Well, I would _hope_ so-”

“Shut up. Laptop?”

“ ** _Michael!_** ” Gavin exclaimed with a laugh, rough hands reaching up to cup freckled cheeks. “Love, I think I'm all set. I have done this before.”

The red-head felt his face heat up slightly at the term of endearment, even if it was a common British phrase. It didn't matter to him. It just mattered who it came from. “Just watching out for my boy.”

“I know, but don't worry. I've got everything I need and I'll be back in five days. You'll see me soon.”

“Psh, who said I was _worried_?” Despite that phrase, Michael was very worried. He knew what Gavin was going home to. Who he was going home to. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't secretly afraid of what could happen to his soul mate while he was on a completely different continent. He'd heard what his father was capable of.

“Mhm, _sure_ ,” Gavin grinned, drawing out the last word.

“...Promise you'll text me? And that we'll Skype?”

“Oh! Uhm...” Gavin fumbled for a moment, clearly scrambling mentally to come up with what to say to pacify his... boyfriend? Friend that was a guy that he just happened to kiss? They never really gave a definition to their relationship, Michael realized. “Y-yeah, of course. I'll do my best. But I might be super busy with things and catching up with Dan and the fam. Hey, that rhymed!”

“Don't change the subject, asshole. Just.. make sure to write me. Shit, even send me an email, I don't care. I want to know how things are going and to make sure you don't fall on your face and die while you're there without me, because seriously, that is some crazy shit you would pull-”

“Micool?”

“Yeah, boi?”

“I'll miss you.”

Michael grinned, reaching up to grasp onto the younger's face to pull him down for a brief kiss, catching him slightly by surprised. It was the first real kiss they had shared since the sleepy exchange they had a few nights ago. It was also their first kiss in public, because Michael sure as fuck didn't count the woods as public. He pulled away, unable to stop the wide smile stretching across his face. “I'm gonna miss you too, Gavvy. Stay safe, okay? Let me know if you need anything, anything at all.”

Pulling away from his friend – again, what were they? - Gavin grinned happily while hoisting his bag up his shoulder, resisting the urge to grab onto Michael's hand as he started walking backwards towards security. “I will, I will. What's the worse that can happen?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, bookmark, comment, whatever! I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
